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SamanthaCohen , 06 Sep 2012

I just can't stop picking

Hi my names Samantha and I'm 16 years old. I think I've been picking all MetLife however it only became apparent when I began picking my face. Throughout my entire life I had never had a spot or blemish on my face to pick however scabs and mosquito bites on my body was where I would pick. The, after a very rough year having my mum go to full time hospital as she was very ill from anarexia and my school making me retake my gcses after accusing me of "cheating" I got belles palsy. I wasn't really bothered by this illness (I actually found it quite funny) until my medication gave me spots. I was in shock as at thus point I didn't even know what a spot was so the first thing I did was scratch my entire face until every blemish started to bleed. From that point onwards it just got worse... I ran to my mums makeup draw and caked myself in everything I cold find, only to give me more spots. Also i was in spain at the time where the weather was extremely hot so I would sweat which also irritated my face. I then started to use ridiculous substances like hand sanitizer and tee tree oil on my face, only to make it sting and get redder. I would always cover my face in sudocrem so that none of my family saw and I'd have to wake up 2 hours early for school to apply layers and layers of makeup. I try not to be so vain and tell myself that it's not all about the looks however when I look into the mirror and see these crusty brown scabs on my face I cant help but burst into tears. For a year this was my daily routine until one night, after a severe picking, I googled 'picking your face' and dermatollimania was the first thing that came up. I read about other people who had the same problem as I did and I was shocked as I thought I was the only one. I immediately ran to my mum and explained everything to her. Although she was sympathetic she repeatedly said that it was just a 'bad habit' which will soon go. One year later and I'm now writing this to say that ,although my picking has got better, I still do it and I have scars from previous picks which I'm scared will never go. I just want to be able to wake up in the morning and walk out my door without having to worry about the light revealing my skin and not having to constantly run to the toilet and reapply my makeup. If anyone can help or knows any good products that gets rid of spots please let me know xxxx

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