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Orange , 23 Sep 2012

Should I tell my friend???

I'm thinking about telling my friend. I'm worried she will think I'm a weirdo and will never want to be around me, just because I have a skin picking problem. I'm worried she won't understand what any of this means. I'm worried she won't care. Do you think I should tell her? It will get a load off my shoulders, but I don't know if I could trust her enough. Shes a really great friend. But will she understand? Will she label me As Outcast? Will she tell everybody? Please help ! I might be over reacting a bit, but to me it's a huge deal. Thanks thanks thanks so much!! :)
4 Answers
September 23, 2012
Hmmm. Well, for whatever it's worth, I don't think you should just announce it to her. And if you don't mind my asking, what age are we talking about here? I'm in my 40s and I've found that I've never even had to tell my close friends. They've never asked, or when they did, they took the hint when I just brushed off their concerns. After three years of seeing me with random bandages on my face and neck, I think they've figured it out but are sensitive enough not to mention it. If you're dealing with a friend who is mature and trustworthy, then you might confide in her only if she really asks about it directly. I wouldn't add drama to the situation by sitting her down to tell her that you have "something important" to tell her and then filling her in on all the details and emotional turmoil. In her mind, that will make it a bigger issue than it should be, and you don't want to scare her off or have her start defining you by your habit. If she asks and you truly trust her, all you need to say is, "I'm okay, thanks for asking. I just have a few places that I tend to pick at and can't leave alone. But hopefully they're getting better." Then move on to something else. A real friend will get the hint and drop the subject. If she really starts asking lots of questions, I'd be very suspicious and tread carefully into those waters. Keep everything as brief and general as you can so that if she does turn out to be a jerk, she won't have a lot of weird stuff to tell other people about your habit. Just my opinion anyway.....
September 24, 2012
I think your concerns about her reaction are valid! I'm 31 and have just finally told my husband after 6 years of marriage. He's the only one who truly "knows." It's frightening. For me, telling Juston was also very relieving--I have someone to revel in my successes with me, and hold me up when I fail. By the way, if your friend is a good friend, she'll love you no matter what you tell her. But of course, it's tough to challenge a relationship like that. And, if you are in school, kids can be cruel. Maybe instead of telling a friend, you could tell a trusted adult or a counselor at school. It's nice to have a shoulder to lean on who you can trust, instead of being in this alone. Good luck, and get well soon!

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