Worse after relapse

After starting to reading and writing at this forum, I was able to almost completely stop picking for a few months. Everything healed up and I started to feel normal and proud of myself. Then one day I couldn't find my pediegg and I used a knife to cut away callouses. Using the knife, created a lot of irregularness on my feet, so the next day I started to pick again. I was thinking: "I just gonna pick this one time". Instead I've been picking every day for months. My feet are a mess, open soares, band-aids all over just to be able to walk. I find pieces of skin everywhere in my room. I'm in a lot of shame. I don't think it ever been this bad before. I used to pick only one heal, put now I pick the the whole underneath on both foots. I'm getting reconnected to this forum beacuse I know I cannot do this alone. Thanks for being here.