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julia53888 , 04 Oct 2012

I am officially done

Ugh. Where to start... Im a senior in high school and i have been picking at my skin for 2 years now. I started picking at my arms at first, then it was my face, and finally my chest. I do have mild acne, but when left on its own, it isnt really noticeable and looks 100X better than when I pick at it . I havent picked at my arms or chest in about 2 weeks and it has cleared up nicely, leaving only a few red marks, but the last few days I have attacked my face, and now it looks like a mess of dry skin, red marks and scabs. I am sick and tired of this and this is my last resort. I have tried to stop and failed so many times, that now, it is very hard to trust myself. In addition to this dermatillomania, I also have pretty bad anxiety and it seems like this just makes my skin picking worse. Like other skin pickers, I can spend 30 minutes in front a mirror picking before i realize what im doing, and then look in the mirror with disgust of what i have done to myself. Its like im in a trance and all the times ive promised myself and swore up and down that i will stop, are forgotton, and there i am, turning my face into a disgusting mess. I seriously never want to pick at my skin ever again. I know that is a large hope, but im hoping that now that I have admitted to all of this( I have only told one person about this-my best friend, and i havent even told my boyfriend- the person which i confide everything in.) This is really embarrassing for me, and itis very depressing and i feel weak-minded that I cant overcome this, but it gives me hope that im not the only one(i thought for the longest time that i was.) Im sure people wonder how my skin can look fine one day, and look like volcano the next. I always say that i need a habit to replace this, but there isnt anything that gives me the same relief as skin picking. The longest I have gone without picking is 2 and a half weeks, but now i am determined to stop for good. I have decided to post on this website every day and i really would appreciate anyones support/advice/ personal experiences etc
2 Answers
October 04, 2012
Hey Julia, my name is Megan and I'm 25 yrs old. I've been picking my face/back/chest since I was about 13 years old. I started posting yesterday and I'm already obsessed! It feels amazing to be able to talk freely about my skin picking and to read everyone's stories. I know what you are going through and I'd love to help you if I can. The only people that know about my picking are my immediate family and my fiance. I've never told any of my friends out of fear that they wouldn't understand and would think it was just a disgusting habit. I've gone through cognitive behavioral therapy at an OCD clinic and it helped me at a really bad point in my picking. I started picking again on a regular basis this summer. It is nowhere near as bad as it has been in the past but I want to regain control asap. I'm trying to put myself on a 30 day challenge to get back on track. Let me know if you have any specific questions and hopefully I can provide some good advice. It WILL get better!!!
October 05, 2012
Hi Julia. I joined this community probably less than an hour ago. I spent hours last night in front of the mirror and am paying the price. You hit the nail on the head, it's like being in a trance and you don't even realize what you are doing. Or that such a lengthily amount of time has passed. I haven't told a soul. It's hard to even admit it to myself but I am aware that I have a problem. You said.. "i need a habit to replace this, but there isn't anything that gives me the same relief as skin picking." I'm an extremist more or less. No sense of moderation. I'm 25 and I started using hard drugs when I was about 13. I've been sober 4 years and even became a vegan (2yrs and counting) and exercise daily (circuit training/running/yoga). I struggle EVERY SINGLE DAY to maintain my sobriety. And by doing so I have to isolate myself from temptation and influence...people. I was ashamed of my past but this has since taken over. But I know what you mean about not getting the same relief from anything else. It's like a high. I feel like I am a feen again...'m looking for my next fix. :-( For what it's worth, you've got a support system right here. Keep us posted :-) We will get through this.

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