Find out the severity of your symptoms with this free online test
I've been picking for about five years. When I first started picking, I remember sitting in my fifth grade class during a standardized test, subconsiously scratching at a pimple on my forhead. I accidentally got blood on the paper, and realized what I was doing. The worst part is school. I scratch when I am stressed, reading, concentrating, and pretty much whenever my hands are free. Many times I end up getting blood on tests from my fingers, and I feel really stupid. I hate having attention near my face like having pictures taken of me. When I was in seventh grade my older sister was admitted to the hospital for depression and self harm. The arguements bewteen my parents and my sister were at their worst, and I couldn't stand seeing my family being ripped apart. I got horrible migraines from the stress. My sister is better now, but I still worry a lot about her because sometimes she still cuts, but in places we can't see. I hope she knows how much I love her and want her to be happy, but I can't manage to tell her. I am so jealous of people who have smooth foreheads. Even when I pick less and my forehead heals, I still have scars and it looks ugly. Recently I've been picking my cheeks, nose, and chin also, but my face has been healing. I really want to stop. There are times I heal and I look okay, but all of a sudden I get tons of pimples and I need to pick them all, because for some reason I feel like that will make them go away even though they won't. And it makes me feel worse because I ruined all my effort at trying not to pick. I think I pick a lot less than I did before, and there have been times where I got my hopes up thinking that I was finally done. But I was just disappointed again. I don't think I will ever completely stop picking, I just wish the scars and scabs weren't visible.
October 18, 2012
Hi Lamb, I just want to let you know that I know exactly how you feel! I want to stop so freaking bad cause like you said somehow you feel like by picking it will go away but you know damn well that it just makes it way worse! Wtf is with that kind of thinking anyway? I do not understand why I am so obsessed with this! There are times when my skin looks pretty good and I think to myself why would I pick when my skin looks good? But I still do! It's like something takes over me when I see a spot or two or three or 20, it's like I feel like I just HAVE to get rid of it but it doesn't get rid of it and after you come out of your freaking trans, you look in the mirror and think to your self wtf did you just do? You look like shit, why do you do this to yourself? I just don't know! I have found some tips on just not looking in the mirror, like turning the light off when you're in the bathroom, putting a moisture mask on first thing in the morning so you don't want to touch. Those things help but I know that's not going to fix it! Just want to let you know that I am going through the exact same thing and maybe by talking to others, we can somehow find a way to help each other.