Starting over

This is my first post here, although I've been lurking for a while. Skin-picking has taken the upper hand recently. My face is ravaged and my life is on hold. I won't go into details about the ongoing vicious cycle and all the negative repercussions, since that's nothing new here. The short version is that I've picked at blemishes and clogged pores for about 15 years, since early adolescence. Benzoyl peroxide was the only thing that kept my skin under control, and it hid most picking damage by drying and peeling the skin. It also caused premature wrinkles and nasty red spider veins on my nose. Periodically I would still get huge cysts which wouldn't go away until I ripped off the top layer of skin. My BP supply ran out a couple of months ago, and even if I wanted to buy more I couldn't, since I live in Europe currently and it is banned here (hmm...). But this precipitated two months of ripping my skin apart, missing social events and school, hiding in my apartment, lying to everyone, etc. I was supposed to start a new job two weeks ago and move to a new house yesterday, but couldn't possibly do either of those things looking like the victim of a chemical accident. So now I have an extended "illness", but that excuse will only really work for one more week before it becomes ridiculous. So today is Day 0 of No Picking. On Day 6 I will face my new housemates, and on Day 8 I will face my new coworkers. On Day 20 I will face family and friends back home. My secret weapon is apple cider vinegar, which is the only natural product I have found to be effective (for me) at both healing and prevention. I will not use any moisturizers since they all clog my pores. Goals: - Focus on healthy skin; do not obsess over existing spots, scars, and wounds. - Do not create new spots or reopen wounds. - Only touch face to wash it. - Do not waste time looking in mirrors. - Direct energy formerly spent on skin to other, more productive activities. - Prove to myself that I can control this habit/addiction. - Inspire others on this forum. ... To stay on track, I will try to post a short update each day. I am feeling confident that this attempt will be successful, if only because I just can't stand it anymore. Thanks for reading.