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I am fearful of sharing my bad habits and experiences with others, but I think it's a step in the right direction. Being honest with myself is always the hardest part. I do my best to avoid the truth, but I'll never be able to heal if I'm incapable of explaining myself. So here's to hoping I might find comfort in this place. Here's to hoping I can be free of compulsive picking one day... It's always been a part of me. I struggled with picking at my skin before I was old enough to understand the consequences of it. No matter how hard I fight to resist it, my fingers will run up my skin to find a scab. Picking is usually a thoughtless act; something I'm so used to doing, it often doesn't occur to me that it's happening until it's too late. I pick at the skin on my fingers, at any sore, and I peel apart my split ends. And I am ashamed to admit that I suffered as a cutter for nearly seven years. I have not cut myself for about a year, and now I want to take another step forward. I want to end the picking. I'm not really interested in pinpointing why I pick, but maybe understanding why would help me heal? If you're trying to stop picking, what has helped you? Is it more of a physical or emotional struggle? I lost my mother when I was 13 and the presence of substance abuse has always been a problem in my family. I feel certain that the depression and stress with school is a contributing factor, but does it help to place blame? I simply want to move forward to better things. I don't know how to motivate myself to cope in a healthy way.. I live in a small town and have sought out counseling, but there is only one therapist available to me. I can't afford counseling, but I hope putting my struggles out here will help. Even if it's in a small way. Ready for change and tired of feeling alone in this. Tired of feeling gross and fed up with myself..