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bronte2 , 19 Dec 2012

Tonight I will STOP for good

The amount of times I have "decided I am going to stop" is ridiculous. I am still yet to trigger what it is that gets me picking at my skin again. A quick overview before I start my healing process: I have been picking at my skin, legs to be more specific, for around 4 years now. However I do remember doing something very similiar in grade 7 but it didn't stick, it was a one off thing. I remember telling everyone at school that I fell off my bike and scraped all the skin off my legs. It started out as just the lower right leg, and even when that was happening I was incredibly embarassed and so ashamed I hated showing my legs and going out in public and hanging out with friends during the Summer. So you can only imagine how I feel with it now being both my entire legs, upper and lower. I have thin legs, to be honest an enviable shape for some and I am almost 6 foot so they are very long. I cannot remember the last time I have shown my legs in public. By the end of this healing process I hope to have changed that, and when I do I will share it here with you. I am going to write in this post everyday, until the day I show my legs in public again. It could take weeks, months, years. But whatever it takes I am determined. I am sick of feeling this way. I want to get better. I have had a boyfriend for 6 months. How he has not noticed my legs is a complete mystery to me. But I want to be able to wear skirts and shorts around him while we are out, rather than maxi skirts, dresses, and jeans. I want to wear the clothes I love. I understand there is going to be a major power struggle. I understand there is going to be difficult days where I will want to cave in to temptation. I hope this forum will help me overcome these days. I hope it will be a way to vent. I hope it will be a place where I can talk about exactly how i'm feeling. And mostly I hope it plays a major role in helping me get healthy again. Maybe no one will comment on this post, maybe many will, it doesn't effect me. I am writing this because I want to get better, and by writing it helps me get out what I cannot speak to my family, my friends and my boyfriend. If along the way I get people who read, listen and understand, than that is simply a bonus in this journey. I hope you all have had a lovely day, my day has been completely shit to be honest, but I hope to find a better one tomorrow. See you then. X
4 Answers
December 19, 2012
Thank you so much for your post. I have been searching for someone in the same boat as me. I am 23 years old and have been picking at blemishes (real or imagined) on my face, neck, chest, arms, legs and groin for over 10 years. In the last few months, after relocating to San Diego and starting a new job, the picking has spiraled out of control into full-blown depression. I have started seeing a therapist for treatment but am making little to no progress. I have met many addicts in my life who have stayed clean for decades due only to the support of their peers. I thought that finding someone who could relate to my situation might help me beat this thing once and for all. Picking is an addiction and we can only conquer it one day at a time. I also live with my BF of 1.5 years who I am head-over-heels in love with. I have a good job and am a smart, attractive young woman and I want to reclaim my life and stop undermining myself by destroying my body and peace of mind. I wish you the best of luck and if you want someone to lean on through this process, feel free to send me an e-mail. It might even be beneficial to exchange phone numbers so that we can call each other when we feel the urge to pick, and remind each other why we are doing this. All the best, Delen
December 19, 2012

In reply to by Pwnie

I actually can't explain how surpised and happy I was to see a response on this this thankyou so much. It really is such a relief to realise that you're not the only person, and you're absolutely right I think you need the support of others particularly those who are in the same boat as you because they know the pain to be able to help you through it all. So I say let's do this! I live in Gold Coast, Australia so calls may be a bit expensive! But I am all for emailing each other! I'm 20 years old by the way, not a bad age difference :) Hope to speak to you soon! P.s I'll send you an email now so you have my email, it will come up a different name than my username on here because I didn't want anyone to find this somehow that knew me haha
December 21, 2012

In reply to by bronte2

DAY ONE As much as I hate saying it, I haven't done so well for the first day. Sad to say, I have picked. I've had the most difficult 2 days of my life involving relationship matters and i've just strained myself so much. In no way am I using this as an excuse, I need to be able to harness the feelings I get before I begin picking, and use them elsewhere with another action. I am staying positive though, things can only get better.
June 11, 2013
oh, i feel you. if i added up how many times i said i was going to stop, it would be over a billion!! ugh. i know this post is a bit old but i can really relate! good luck with your picking and keep us updated with your progress!! :)

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