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mirrormirror , 15 Feb 2013

2 Questions, Folks!

First post! Yayyyy... Go ME! To be frank, I am 27 and this happens be my first post on anything ever ever anywhere. Well except a handful on facebook, which I am a member of by a friend grabbing my laptop and taking my refusal into her own hands. Soooo... This is big for lil' ole me ya know. Lol. Though this is no laughing matter. I'll keep my question kinda simple for now and perhaps explain more details later about the disgustingly filthy and immensely loathed secrets of my mental health. Okay. Tell me who among all you F'ed up folks like myself picks (maybe I just do more damage with these ridiculously sharp tweezers) themselves to the shocking point of filling up multiple like sevvveral kleenexes worth of blood??! I mean like pretty much... okay. So blood like gushing, dripping down my face. Very deep, MANY layers deep. I feel what seems like no pain from doing this to my own face. Sometimes it is irrestable and no matter what else I should be doing or could be doing I choose to spend an uncountable number of hours sawing my chain-saw-massacring my face off. Gotta hold a kleenex or anything I can find at that moment to my face for-freaking-ever, almost always in multiple places. I actually make certain I keep kleenexes in my purse or at least have napkins in my glovebox. Carry face cleansing wipes with me for dried blood. My adoration for cosmetics has led me to become a cosmetic GENIUS when it comes to disguising the ugliest of booboos! Or so I like to tell myself. Though often it simply looks worse with makeup over it. So ya know gotta apply personal discretion. Like right now when every trick up my sleeve is hopeless and I have to introduce lies to the situation. Right now my face looks so damn scary I have had to think up some "concealer" of a lie, some crap excuse why my face looks like I got into some kinda brawl with a pissed off giant carrying a pocket knife trying to cut my face off. I look downright frightfully scary. People ask, "Sweetheart, what happened?" HAHAHA! Should I reply "Yeah, I did this to myself!"? I mean why did I have to be this F'ed up?! Lol. Man... Bipolar apparently. I don't know I mean no mania in like 4 years, so bipolar disorder seems to be a distant memory. Depression. For sure. Generalized anxiety disorder. Unmistakingly, Hmm... Oh! Opioid dependent! That just describes what's F'ed up about me using diagnoses. Woohoo good to be meeeee..... This is BS. And an addict because of a bad accident and 10 years of debilitating chronic pain, enough to be legally disabled and unable to work, and top-notch pain specialists prescribing highly abused pain pills. As well as countless other types of doctors related to attempts trying to resolve or at least manage what was causing me to hurt like hell. All day every day. QUESTION #2: Are people with dermatillomania generally really F'ed up? Or no? Just me?!! Oh. Cool. I'm gonna go get a little more stoned now. So sorry for rambling that badly.
3 Answers
February 15, 2013
Now where is the southern belle in me! How rude not to introduce myself. My name is Lauren and I have dermatillomania. Reminds me of a Narcotics Anonymous saying - one's too many and a thousand is never enough. Just like how I almost uncontrollably go many layers deep into my own skin. Also, I apologize for a lot of typos. Goes to show ya that stoned people undeniably can be distracted.
February 18, 2013
Respectfully, no, I am not F'ed up I just happen to have a compulsion that I can work to stop, I may be a little odd in that while I used to be anxious after much work and therapy I no longer am (to the extent I was) stopping this is the next step, no one is F'ed up, not even you, you have mental health issues that is all, we are here to support one another, I don't know if anyone else here has the same issues, I only speak for me, I wish you luck in stopping your skin picking.
June 11, 2013
you're only fucked up if you think you are... and it seems like you're giving yourself 1000 excuses for picking your skin. maybe you should work on the drug addiction first since i think you know that will make you stronger, maybe even strong enough to conquer skin picking! good luck :) just try to add some confidence and positive thoughts instead of just beating yourself up or telling yourself you're fucked up or an all around shitty person. cause that's not the case.

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