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reaching.higher , 19 Feb 2013

from 0 to angry in 60 seconds...

I was thinking today about what makes me angry or mad because these are emotions I don't often express. I have been repeatedly told that I am an extremely kind, patient person and it truly is something I strive to be with everyone but I simply had to stop and think of what would force me to outwardly express anger. There have been some scenarios in my adult life where maybe most people would express that they are mad/angry such as being cheated on in a relationship, having entirely false statements spread about them, etc. but I was raised with the belief that if you have nothing good to say then don't say anything at all. Anyways, the only scenarios that came to mind where I outwardly expressed my anger was related to my dermatillomania/trichotillomania. For example, I was relaxing on a weekend with the family,laughing and having a good time.My brother said he was going to stop by to see me since I was in town. Assuming he was coming alone I did not bother to put on any make-up. I heard the garage door go up and I went to the door to greet him but to my surprise he had brought his fiance as well. They both happen to be looking at the ground that they didn't see my face but I was completely angry that he didn't give me warning that he was bringing her. I quickly/angrily slammed the door, stomped past my family who were completely confused by my sudden change in emotion, and slammed the door to the bathroom to put on my makeup. I hurried to put on my makeup so that I could greet my brother's fiance (she is a sweetheart) but by the time I had finished applying all my makeup and came out of the bathroom they had left. At this point I can't recall if I yelled some choice language but I again slammed the door to the bathroom and washed it all off. No one in my family could understand my sudden outburst even after I explained to them why I was mad. There have been other scenarios like this where I've gotten extremely mad about something related to my skinpicking but this one happens to be the first one that comes to mind. I hope I am not alone in feeling this way or having this reaction to situations with my skinpicking. If anything I'd like you guys to share your thoughts.
1 Answer
June 11, 2013
i can completely relate!! just tonight i went downstairs to get a glass of water and maybe watch some tv to take my mind off my horrible picking session i had just engaged in, and my brother comes home. i was so embarrassed about my face being red and splotchy and bloody that i yelled at him for something or other, i don't even remember, so that he would go upstairs and leave me alone. and it wasn't even his fault.. i was just ashamed. We cant let this habit force people out of our lives, we have to confide in them and be honest.. that's my positive spin on it!

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