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e.russell , 06 Mar 2013

my girlfriend is obsessed with picking my skin! help!

Hi. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years and overall, we get on really well. One problem we have A LOT is the fact that she is completely obsessed with picking MY skin. I always knew she picked at her own skin, and I figured it was a normal compulsion. I have OCD and have suffered from dermatillomania since I was 9 years old- I have scarred my arms, feet, and legs from years of picking (though I have become a lot better with it through practice), so I understand her compulsion. however, two years ago, I got badly sun burned and my skin started to peel off in huge pieces...this is where everything went down hill. Ever since then, she will relentlessly beg me to pick my skin and she will do it for hours if I let her. I have even woken up to her picking my skin in the middle of the night! I can see it calms her and causes her to enter a state of euphoria almost. The only problem is that she is scarring my face and back and it hurts terribly when she does it!! I cannot get her to stop, and when I won't let her, she actually cries and becomes really angry at me. I have been looking up as much information on this disorder that I can, but I can't find anything about a sufferer taking out their compulsion on someone else. She refuses to see a therapist or even admit she has a problem. PLEASE HELP ME!!
6 Answers
March 07, 2013
It's all about respecting yourself and setting boundaries. People - lovers, friends, family etc. - need to respect you by respecting your boundaries.
March 08, 2013
I actually beg my fiance to let me clean his nasty ears but he only lets me do it once in a while. I think setting some serious boundaries up is a must. I get depressed when he says no to me, but he has really sensitive ears, so I try to put his needs before mine. i think your girlfriend needs to read this website forum! and don't even get me started on my fiance's nose and all his blackheads. I do get him to do a biore nose strip once in a blue moon and it is gross!!! I have actually picked his nose in the middle of the night as well and I didn't even realize that i was doing it. so sad.
March 09, 2013
Coming to terms with a picking problem is really difficult. The best thing you can do is love her and make sure she knows you are there for her. This is so important to those of us who pick. It's not so easy to just, "stop." You know this. Slowly suggest helping her. She has to be the one to choose to get help. Here is a website for a life-coach that is Wonderful! Her name is Annette and she does consultations! Check her out! :) and best of luck!
June 07, 2013
Honestly as much as you are complaining about this-- and yes, it is a problem for sure that needs to be worked out-- i think you should be grateful that you have a girlfriend you can be 100% comfortable with, even if that means accepting each others potentially gross impulses/habits. That way you can help each other to quit. I keep my picking such a secret that i cant even imagine finding a guy who i would be able to tell this secret to, let alone pick in front of him or ask to pick his skin! (not that i would want to do either). But to have someone who will not be embarrassed to be herself around you and vice versa is something to hold onto. I wonder if i'll ever find that since this habit has become a deep dark secret that no one could unlock :(
Ashley Cole
September 17, 2013
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February 21, 2014
Tell her to apply for this show (seriously):

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