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I don't even know if I have dermatillomania or just a bad habit - help me please?
I really have no idea when a simple picking habit becomes something which could be classed as dermatillomania. I know the general people on here aren't experts so therefore can't diagnose a situation but I just want to know if my behaviour is serious enough to be worrying about it so much. I've picked as long as I can remember, but it was never normally too bad. When I was young (maybe around age 7 ish) whenever I got a cut I would end up picking it and making it worse, I would then put a plaster on it and it would eventually get better (after coming back maybe three times due to me picking the scab). I would also eat the scab and still do sometimes...am I a freak for that? I then started picking more and more. This is where though I am not certain if I am... "bad" enough to be considered someone who has some sort of "problem". I don't spend hours picking in front of a mirror or try to cover up ever inch of by body in shame. I might casually pick whilst on the computer, talking to parents, or getting dressed. Picking never takes out of my social life or anything, which is when I wonder if I only have a habit? I don't care really how I look to some degree so I don't feel the need to cake on loads of makeup and wear long sleeved shirts all the time to cover all my scars, I'm more disappointed in how I've made myself look so much worse. Last year for some reason I picked up a pair of tweezers that are used for eyebrows I think (I have no idea what they were doing lying about) and saw a zit on my chest and used that to squeeze the pus out. It felt so...satisfying and I have no idea why. Now I use the tweezers loads and I no longer so picking scabs I now squeeze every single bump that I have. I don't even have any zits because as soon as I get something that MIGHT form one I go in for the kill. This also REALLY makes it worse is that I have KP which is a skin condition (a really common one though, so surely many others on here also have it?) where you have bumps on your arms and legs which are sort of like goosebumps but they have a tiny amount of protein in it which when you squeeze them it comes out and is almost like a zit. I can't help but use tweezers (or sometimes my fingers) to pick every one of these too, and because it's a genetic thing they never go away! I also bite my fingernails but I'm sure that's just a habit as my fingernails are short but I never bite them so short that it hurts, if that makes sense, they still look fairly normal. I also sometimes like bite the skin of my fingers, I don't always do it but I think I used to more when I was younger. I have a few cuts on my fingers but again it's not something I think is a problem. I also read online when people talk about dermatillomania they also mention the obsession of pulling out your own hair, I don't know if they're connected but I definitely DO NOT have that, so I don't know if that means I'm more likely just to have a habit or not? I'm sorry if this whole post is stupid. This is just so frustrating, but I can't stop I swear! I keep telling myself it looks worse and I know it does. I have maybe 15 cuts on my left arm and 20something scars on there, but they're all small. My right arm probably has a bit less as I am right handed so mostly pick with my right hand. I'm only saying the amounts of cuts because I have no idea how many cuts a normal person with dermatillomania has and I just really don't know if I only have a bad habit or something more. My mom knows that there's a mental condition associated with picking scabs but I don't think she thinks I have it (I don't know, I haven't talked to her about it). I said to my dad that I could have it but he thinks it's a bunch of rubbish and is just like smoking/drinking or any other habit. I try to explain that with smoking and drinking you can get rid of the cigarettes or alcohol and you CHOOSE to buy more. I can't get rid of all my scabs, I don't think I'd go making new scabs (there's always a starting bump that I pick, even if it's really really small I never make the initial problem myself). I think the worst thing is knowing that I have all these scars and they're going to stay on me forever. I don't mind scars so much as long as they're there for a reason...like if I could explain how I injured myself each time, but out of the twenty something on my face only one isn't due to picking and that's only 'cause I had it when I was a baby. I've also now recently started picking on my legs as I get loads of bumps whenever I shave (the bumps are the same KP ones that I get on my arms that I pick) and I'll pick them when on the toilet and now I have cuts all on my upper thighs. I just don't know if I belong here I guess? Does anyone have any advice for how to stop, but I don't want to have to go talk to someone (if I need it, I have no idea if I do). For starters I think I should finally get rid of those tweezers, I keep telling myself I will but I never do. Do you think I have something worse than a bad habit or is my dad right that I can just stop just like he stopped smoking? Thanks for reading this ridiculously long post.
In reply to You're not a freak!!! I cant by thebeautifulugly