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IYQYQR4375 , 18 Jun 2013

How did you tell your significant other about your picking?

Hello everyone! I've been quietly nosing around this site for weeks and finally decided todays the day. I've been picking for at least 17-18 years and have gotten to the point where it is affecting my daily life. I was devastated when I found out that this picking thing I do actually has a name. I couldn't believe how many people pick, and that it isn't a self destructive/cutting thing like so many had doctors told me. Now its all starting to make sense and I'm learning to accept that yes as strange and it may seem, I am a picker, an OCD crazed picker. The first person I told was my mom and naturally she wasn't surprised at all. The second was my best friend who happens to be on the other side of the world, she was very surprised. The third person I want to tell is an amazing man who has become my best friend, and he would love nothing more then to start a life and a family together and grow old hand in hand. However, I've been keeping him at arms length for fear of losing him over this crazy picking thing I do. So my question is, how did you tell your significant other about your picking? Sincerely, IYQYQR4375
2 Answers
June 19, 2013
Hi =) I'm new to this site and have been picking for as long as I can remember. I only found out it had a name yesterday and I was so glad I wasn't alone or just someone with a gross, bad habit. My Mum has always known I picked because she helped me clean the wounds and cover them so I couldn't hurt myself more but we never knew it was a condition that could be treated. I assume she thought it was a habit too but was kind enough to never say it was gross. I pick mainly my fingers (around the nail and cuticles) which is near impossible to hide so had to just deal with comments on how yuck they looked. About 5-6 years ago I started attacking my upper legs - I say attack because it starts with one spot and then turns into a frenzy that I hardly remember. Anyway, this area was much easier to hide and when I met a guy I liked I had no intention of ever showing him that part of my body. How I dealt with this problem was by telling him blatantly what I do to myself (this was before I knew what it really was) and how it means I have disgusting scars and scabs on my legs and fingers. He never once said I was gross after seeing the damage I do to myself and he has been my main supporter in getting control over it for the past 4 years =) Just small things he does like check on me if I have been in the bathroom too long to help me break the 'trance' I get into when on a picking mission and letting me know how good my legs look if he knows I have managed a full day without picking. Please tell your significant other, it is such a relief to have someone to share this with and it makes the weight of it less intense to deal with. On the other hand, if he reacts negatively, you deserve much better from a life partner. Goodluck =)
June 22, 2013
I have been picking my scalp for over 10 years and other parts of my body when I'm really stressed. Not only this, but seeing certain textures make me panic and feel so utterly grossed out I have to pick. My partner and I recently bought chickens as pets and we went to a livestock show to learn a little more, where the lady showed us a chicken in moult - the quills of the feathers were full of blood and each feather was surrounded by a little sack of loose skin and I nearly vomitted. When we got home, I looked at our chickens and they were similar, with this awful skin in strange sacks around each feather, so I had a panic attack. My partner knew nothing about my difficulties until then, because I'd been so utterly ashamed of it. He was frightened and didn't understand, but I knew that he wanted to help, so I said to him that I knew it sounded strange and that I was frightened to tell him because it was a really big deal and I didn't want him to think I was mental. I explained to him and he didn't say anything other than that he'd do what he could to try and help me to stop and maybe that I needed to see my therapist about it. He was right and she's helping me to work on reducing the picking. In this case, it got to tipping point before I told him, but actually I love him and I trust him and even though telling him was really really scary, he just wanted to help. If your partner loves you and cherishes you, he/she will do whatever it takes just to look after you, because even if you don't see how precious you are, they do. I love my partner with all my heart and I'm so grateful that he will just put his arms around me when I'm struggling. Once you give in and trust your partner to catch you when you fall, you'll be surprised how good it feels.

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