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queenofhearts , 28 Jul 2013

WHY do I keep picking? My story... I need help. Period.

I have skin picked compulsively for 2.5 years. I noticed, not coincidentally, it began right around the time my ED's began manifesting. Is it because my OCD is manifesting in new ways because I had an ED for 2 years on and off and got rid of that? Because I am currently trying to stop obsessing over mystical meanings of numbers and thinking if I don't do some certain action right something will happen badly to me or others in general? I'm not 100% sure. I just /need to stop/ and don't know how. I'm even considering full OCD treatment. One obsession is traded for another. Skin picking has been an obsession and an indulgence for 2 years. I feel when my other obsessive and compulsive behaviors waned this one got worse. Even though I do acknowledge it's really bad and have tried to motivate myself to stop with keeping check of good days and rewards, I often fall back into picking - mainly my arms. I can't wear short sleeves, let alone sleeveless shirts. I have/had mild acne there and I feel the picking is also an attempt to 'get rid' of the problems on my arms and - not to be TMI, but, I have a real sense of gratification when I can remove pus/infected fluid/black heads from my skin and that's where the obsession stems from. Getting rid of something 'wrong' even though my logic KNOWS it's going to leave a welt, scab or worse, a brownish red scar for a few weeks to months after. I really am in a tough spot. I don't want to pick anymore. I don't want to have pigmentation scars and welts on my arms. I can't take this anymore. I need help. :( Should I just throw in the towel at trying to cure alone and see a shrink?
3 Answers
Lady Grace
July 28, 2013
I am currently looking at 3 years of skin picking and it is my arms that are my target. I cannot wear sleeveless shirts because my arms are so scarred and then of course I have those places which are fresh wounds....I will allow sometimes to heal but never totally before I am picking the scabs to only start all back over. I don't see me picking tonight because last night I tore my arms up from wounds which were somewhat healing and they are raw and to sore. When I can't pick I rub over my arms back and forth just to feel if the scab is started to form. The harder the scab is to pick off the better the sensation feels to me. I started picking due to pain pills that were making me itch. But I have been long off the pain pills and the picking still continues. I really feel there is a deeper cause for this and not just because I got on pain pills at one time. I don't know how to stop and I continue to even pray about it extremely hard. I know there is power in prayer but for now it still continues. As i said before I believe there is a deeper cause that makes me do this but I don't know what it is! Hopefully one day I will stop but my arms are scarred for life!
July 28, 2013
I have skin picked for years, since my teens (I'm almost 30 now). I don't know why I started, or why I continue when I know I will regret it as soon as I'm done. Any imperfection in my skin I have the need to pick at. Which then turns into scabs and of course I'll pick at those as well. Last night I hit a new low and I hoped (PRAYED) that this is an actual problem and that I was not the only person in the world who does this. I mean seriously, I'm healthy, I have a good job, a happy life. I consider myself a stable person. What 'normal' person does this to themselves? So I started to research. It's comforting and encouraging that I'm not the only one. I've never thought of this as an addiction, but that's exactly what it is. I've always prided myself on the fact that I am not addicted to anything, but the reality is I am. I don't smoke, I barely ever drink... I don't over eat.. I want to stop picking. I have some horrible scarring that I'll probably have for the rest of my life. How do I stop? I'm hoping that the knowledge that I have a problem will help me resolve it. I'm stubborn, now that I have an idea of what I'm facing I'm hoping I can overcome this. My normal pattern: wake up, prepare for the day, work, exercise, quality family time sometimes and then home. Once home, I do what I need for the house, and finally prepare for bed. 'Prepare' meaning washing up, and then sitting in the mirror and picking. So what I am trying now: I bought an amazing healing cream. As soon as I'm done with my shower, I smear that cream all over. Once the cream is on it's harder for me to pick. I'd have to wash the cream off if I want to have a good pick session. Win win if I can keep with it. I'd rather attempt to help myself first before going to see someone, but that's still an option. Has anyone else with this problem sought out professional help? Did you have good results? Is there anyone out there who is willing to share their success story?
August 01, 2013
I totally understand the satisfied feeling. Something about seeing it come out gives me a tiny high. But I hate doing it.

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