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Cysts on my face has been the bane of hell in my appearance at the moment. I never really struggled with this kind of acne before but suddenly this year, I have been getting at least 5 in a go. Mostly 1, 2, 3 or even 4 on my cheek, sometimes on my jawline and it got even bigger once because I tried squeezing it and it made me look deformed slightly for 2 days. To top it off, I have shallow indented scarring from past picking, pigmentation marks ranging from red, grey and brown, blackheads even if they are minuscule, I will try to squeeze them. Also, I've been getting weird mini tiny spots around near my jawline which are hard to pick. Wearing foundation over it makes it look even worse. I believe it may had been a glycolic night treatment I was using that also had all this other stuff like retin-a with it. I think it works for some but sadly not for me. Admittedly, I like the satisfaction of squeezing a blackhead and the hard sebum comes out (although not all successful sometimes), the same with a juicy cyst if it looks ready to pop or burst. I feel bad when I look at how shit I look in the mirror but then satisfied that I've suddenly exposed what needed to come out under my skin rather than just letting it sit there, even though others may not see it and I'm making my skin worse, but to me I feel I'm not. Only when I look at the damage perhaps, then I feel miserable about it. But back to the story of cysts, people with clear skin and are happy, makes me wonder would they still be as happy if they had to deal with a bunch of cysts on their face. And perhaps they are happy because they have clear skin, therefore one less thing to worry about therefore less stress to deal with. It seems I end up getting a cyst when I'm feeling stressed. And it's a frustrating Catch 22 situation, where to prevent getting cysts is to be not stress but then I'm stressed because I've got a bunch of cysts and other shit on my face. When one cyst actually eventually flattens on one cheek, literally another one forms in the similar place opposite my other cheek. What gives! Really! Before you think I must be some freaky troll, I've got myself a professional job that involves a lot of closeness and eye to eye friendly interaction. For the several months, I've been drowning my face in foundation and I hate it so much. I'm sure people must wonder why I bother but then they probably take a much closer look and know exactly why. I am a young female, and it sucks that I have to hide my youth in this 2nd skin. Like I said, make up makes it look worst but what can I do. If I suddenly went to work without make up, I think I would definitely scare the people away.
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