Online Test

Find out the severity of your symptoms with this free online test

Meowzer , 20 Sep 2013

In a Bad Place

Hi everyone, so this is my first post...I'm 19 years old, a sophomore in college, and I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that I need help. I've been picking my legs for over 3 years now, and I thought it was just a passing phase. If anything, it has worsened over time. I'm weighed down by heavy guilt, shame, embarrassment, helplessness, hopelessness. I started picking before started taking Zoloft, but the medicine hasn't helped a bit, despite what I've read about the positive effects of SSRIs on these urges to pick. I just feel like, no matter how much make-up I wear, no matter how I style my hair, I'm always going to be ugly--unless, that is, I seek help. I feel stranded, and I just need to talk to someone who understands. I broke up with my boyfriend recently; he didn't understand my depression, so there's no way he would understand this. I can't stop picking, and then I feel like I can't stop shaming myself after the fact. I just want to be, for once in my life, free of all of these horrible feelings that drag me down. First it was the depression, now it's the Dermatillomania. I feel like I'm imprisoned in my own mind. Can someone please tell me that they've recovered from this, that it's possible? I cannot live like this anymore, it's getting to the point where I'm thinking suicidal thoughts every now and then. I just need to know that I can beat this, because right now I can't imagine a life where I can wear skirts and shorts, where I can wear a bathing suit or even walk to the bathroom in a robe without feeling so much embarrassment. Thank you, and I wish you all the best.
4 Answers
September 23, 2013
Everything I just read is exactly what I've been dealing with for the last year. I've taken Prozac for about three years (not for skin-- for depression and anxiety) and by the way things are looking right now, I probably need to up my dose. We have the same emotions of guilt, embarrassment, and shame. I'm in college as well (senior though) and I've felt so incredibly lost since they day this all began (finals week last year.. of course). Naturally I have beautifuI, glowing tan skin that's never had a real pimple, even though teenage years... Just perfect skin. Now, yo wouldn't even recognize me. I've picked my face, chest, bikini line, and legs into complete shreds and if I'm not covered in scabs, then I'm covered in scars. I'm sorry that you're gong through this.. I'm sorry for me, too. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I want to give you a giant hug and cry and have fugly skin together! It sucks being looney, but don't be scared. We will overcome this-- we've already taken the first step. XOXO.
September 27, 2013
I would stay away from medications. I've been on plenty. They're just a cover for you deep rooted repressed memories. You have to come to terms with what triggers/causes your skin picking. Trauma happens in a split second but lasts a life time. So far thats the best explanation I have come up with. I'm sorry :hugs: I hope you conquer this disease. Best of luck & lots of love!
September 27, 2013
I feel the same and have had the same thoughts of suicide. I have nightmares that I'm in public and people can see my legs! Hang in there and find friends that you can feel safe around. I will post what works for me and hopefully there will be some cures listed soon! Hugs
December 18, 2013
I hope you're doing well, doll. Reading your post was almost eerie because it's all the thoughts I've never been brave enough to share with anyone, yet there they are in print. I wish you luck and happiness and confidence and hope and most of all, faith. I believe in you. We're all in this together.

Start your journey with SkinPick

Take control of your life and find freedom from skin picking through professional therapy and evidence-based behavioral techniques.

Start Now