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Amzypop , 12 Oct 2013

No Picking Diary

I've decided to keep a diary on this forum of my no picking attempt in hopes it will motivate me! I will keep record of my progress and if anyone wants to join in, your more than welcome, I think it helps to encourage each other :-) So here goes... Day 1 - No picking at all! Fingers crossed I can keep this up! Ill also let you know the things that help me not to pick and any advice I have. Good luck to anyone out there trying to stop and don't give up hope, we will all beat this one day!
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Amzypop
October 29, 2013
Well guess what? I messed up big time... For some unknown reason whilst washing my face last night I picked my face, not as bad as previous times but bad enough to ruin all my progress and be half way back to where I started! I am SO angry with myself today and had to cancel my hair appointment because of the way my face looks :-( To make matters worse my mum literally snapped and had a full blown argument with me... Well it was one sided on her behalf, I just sat there crying whilst she said really horrible things to me, basically saying that she is sending me to get help and she doesn't believe me anymore when I tell her I don't pick on purpose it just happens without me knowing why! I feel competely alone now as my mum was the only real support I had and now she has turned her back on me most likely, she said she cant take it anymore and I keep ruining 'her' plans to go out places! So yeah i'm just sat crying in my bedroom and feeling seriously depressed right now, wish I could just disappear, had enough of this stupid condition, it's ruining my life :'-( Anyone got any advice to make me feel better? I really hope I don't to back to square one, I am avoiding the mirrors today so I don't pick anymore due to all this stress.
Breathitout
October 29, 2013
I messed up yesterday too.. I'm so sorry but I have nothing to tell you. Cried half the night and didn't feel like waking up today. Music cheered me up a bit, and what I'm going to do is clean my face and put make up on and just let it sit there for a couple of days to let my face heal and not have to see how bad i look right now. I know it sounds discusting but I feel like when I don't wash my face it heals way faster so that's what i'll do and start over. And of course try not to touch it and avoid mirrors and stuff... But usually when I pick one day, I pick 3 days in a row because I feel so frustrated and don't feel like fighting the urge. Hope it doesn't happen this time. I'm sorry about your mom aswell... My parents don't even know -.- Good luck today.
Amzypop
October 29, 2013
Hi I'm sorry to hear that :-( I just feel so annoyed with myself and keep wishing I could turn back time but that's not possible obviously... The only positive is I KNOW that I can last over 2 weeks if I put my mind to it. I think i'll try what you suggested, put makeup on and leave it for a while so at least I won't be as tempted to pick again. My mum is out at the minute so hopefully when she comes home we can sort it out, I undertsand why she struggles to understand, I barely understand myself most of the time lol thanks good luck to you as well, let's just try and keep smiling and be positive that we can get through this! x
nopick
October 29, 2013
Hey! I picked some days ago aswell and I was devastated but I´ve figured out a little system that helps me to get back on track sometimes. And throughout 11 years of picking I´ve learned one thing- try to be as busy as you can! If you have too much free time, it leads to picking. Itś good to be wasted in the evening and wash your face and just wish to be sleeping already and no energy to mess your face up. Since I use a lot of make-up, then I leave it on for a few days, to let my skin heal and get stronger. It sounds dirty, which it kind of is with my oily skin, but actually it works better than washing every day because it doesn´t allow the skin to relax and stay strong. My mother didn´t understand this issue either but she told in an angry manner to stop dealing with my skin. Which kind of, is good advice...until you get in the trance again..... : ) Anyway, I also advise to take cod liver oil with vitamins which will make your skin less inflammated and soft besides all other health benefits. I also eat the inside of my mouth... and I´m disgusted of myself of it and can´t stop... Today is my day one with no picking and I´m sure I´ll succeed today because of my system. But the rest of the week will be a mystery. But I failed with the mouth thing.... Don´t give up!!
Amzypop
October 29, 2013
Hi :-) yeah it is so devastating when you are doing really well then BAM back to the start... But yeah I agree keeping busy does help and I'll give the cod liver oil a try thanks for the advice! I'm trying to remain as positive as I can, we can all do it if we keep trying, good luck! x
Breathitout
October 29, 2013
Good luck both of you :) And Amy if you went for 2 weeks without picking I believe you can do anything, seriously. It's just adding up day after day. It seems scary and i bet right now you're as frustrated as I am trying to get back on track. But yes, let's stay positive, keep busy, and I do this thing, whenever I think of picking or my face or pimples or ANYTHING skin related I quickly start thinking of something relaxing. Like a beach, or a field full of flowers, and just keep picturing it in my head. It helps me a lot. xx
Amzypop
November 08, 2013
So I haven't posted an update in a while and that's due to a lot of things happening in my life in the past few weeks. After my last picking session I managed to last just over a week until my face was almost back to normal... then as usual for reasons unknown to me I picked my face again, it's probably the worst it's ever been! I'm so terrified i've done permanent damage so I am putting 100% Aloe Vera gel on everyday and hopefully that will help prevent any bad scarring. Anyway because of this my mum has booked me an appointment next week to see a counsellor and well.. i'm scared to death! I have never been good with talking to people, especially about how I feel and to be honest I don't even know how I feel, my mind is a mess. I have to send her an email tomorrow explaining my situation which to me is easier than talking in person; I seem to be able to express myself better through writing things down than speaking out loud. Has anyone else been to speak to a professional about their picking? If you have I would love to know how it went and what kind of things they ask :-) think I just need a bit of reassuring that it is worth going! So yeah sorry for the rant, just needed to share this with people who understand, my parents are supporting me but they still can't grasp the disorder fully, it's impossible to understand unless you are going through it yourself. I hope some of you out there are having more luck than I am and good luck to everyone trying to stop picking, it really is a monster of a compulsion, but I have faith that we can all beat it one day <3

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