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brwnidgrl86 , 21 Nov 2013


Hello everyone. I'm new to this site and just looking for some place to vent where I know someone here will understand. I'm 27 years old and I've been a picker since I was 12. I pick my face, neck, breasts, back, legs, arms, lips, fingernails,,, just about anything my fingers will reach. Besides the fact this creates a horribly severe self esteem issue for me, I think my biggest problem I have with it is that my family thinks it's just a big joke. When I was growing up my parents would get to the point that they would scream at me to stop. We would fight a lot over it. My mother would try to scare me by saying I was going to contract some kind of flesh eating bacterial infection or MRSA. It got to the point that I would just go to my room and close the door so they couldn't see me doing it. Unfortunately this didn't always work because I do it without even realizing it sometimes. Like when I'm watching tv or having a conversation. Now I'm married. My husband doesn't scream at me but it still creates a lot of heartache and grief between us. He tells me to stop like it's just so easy. I think to myself "Gee, why didn't I think of that?" He doesn't even try to understand. I try to explain how it feels and how hard it is and he just throws it under the rug saying "I know, I know" and then goes right back to telling me to stop and starts grabbing my hands. The worst part is when he brings it up in front of people. Just the other day he asked me to put his phone in my purse so he wouldn't kill his battery from playing games on it. I joked and said "Why? Do you have no self control?" So naturally he said in front of everyone "I don't want to hear it. You spend hours standing in front of the mirror picking at yourself because you have no self control." I didn't want to cry in front of everyone so I held in the tears until the next morning after he left for work. It's hard because not only do you have to wear your obsession out in the open for all to see but you also have to endure the criticism and the judgement that comes along with it. Even from people who claim they love you. They think that it's so easy and they ask "Why don't you just stop?". I've quit smoking without a problem. This is something much harder to accomplish. It's like trying to quit smoking with a lit cigarette glued to your fingers. You can't get away from your skin.
3 Answers
November 21, 2013
I'm so sorry that your husband is not sympathize with your picking the way he should be. It's not fair to you, and you shouldn't put up with it. It's one thing to say "I believe in you, I know you can do this, and I'm here for you every step of the way." And quite another thing to try and turn your struggle into a petty habit, let alone call you out in front of other people when he should know this is something that is quite obviously humiliating to you. You may not be getting the support you need from him-- but keep in mind he won't ever fully understand it. I want you to k ow that you're not alone, and there are plenty of us that fully understand your struggle. Us skin pickers gotta stick together :) we can't let anything discourage us. I know we can do it!! We can stop. I also deal with my family members telling me to "just stop" and treating me like I'm a child who can't get over a temper tantrum. It's not that simple, and what matters is that we stop regardless. We'll know the mountain we had to climb in order to get past this-- even if no one else does. :)
November 21, 2013
It really pains me to see someone going through such a difficult time without any support or understanding from the people around you. I am so sorry, I know how hard it must be to be going through this all on your own. I pick my face, no where else on my body, but it's pretty severe. It looks like I just get bad acne or something, but it's all of course from picking. When I finally told my boyfriend (who lives with me) that the marks on my face are from me compulsively picking, and not acne, and how distressing it's made me, he was honestly very supportive, even though he didn't quite understand. He saw how in pain I was, though, and would try to give me encouragement and tell me I'm beautiful regardless of my scabs and scars. After an episode, I would sit in the bathroom, staring at myself, and crying very hard, and he would text me saying things to try to make me feel better, telling me I'm beautiful and to come out of the bathroom, it's so comforting and the support motivates me to try harder to stop. But my point is, you need to tell your boyfriend how depressed and alone this is making you feel and that this is the time he needs to support you most. No offense, but your boyfriend shouldn't be making jokes about you and your habits period, especially in front of people, and he kind of sounds like an insensitive d**k, to be honest. My mum has pointed out my scars in front of people and I would straight up tell her to stop because it's embarrassing, rude, and a real problem, and that would shit her up real quick. If your family and boyfriend truly care about you, they'll be understanding and stop criticizing you. You just have to tell them about the problem and explain it to them in a way that they'll understand. Compare how easily you quit smoking cigarettes to your skin picking. If you could stop smoking so easily, then you'd definitely have no problem stopping a minor habit, but explain that this isn't a minor habit, but a compulsion that you can't help doing, especially when stressed, which they're causing you to be. If they still don't understand or criticize you after trying to calmly explain things to them, then I would honestly just try to get them to see how cruel they're being for criticizing something you can't help. You need their support more than ever, so you need to make them see when they're being cruel and have them see that it's wrong and distressing you, even if it means crying in front of them. At least it would make them see how painful they're being to you. I seriously wish you the best of luck and hope things get better for you. *hugs*
November 22, 2013
My boyfriend ridicules this issue and says it´s just about stopping, just about not doing harm to oneself. I try to take it as easy like this... and sometimes it helps. But recently I´ve had some tough times and I´ve avoided going out of my house for a week and I just keep picking.. and I damaged my skin because I thought baking soda can help oily skin. No way. It ruined the ph and just get more pimples and the skin is weak. Anyway, I´m now trying to manipulate myself not to pick again by taking picture of my skin every day, without make-up. To prove myself that even if I have pimples, I look more normal than with all these scars and wounds and red picked areas. Today was the first day. And in three weeks I better be healed because I´m going on a holiday and I don´t want to look like this to my boyfriend... Try not to stay at a mirror... if you are starting to get frustrated and want to pick again, then grab a clay mask or any home-made mask, that makes you feel like you are dealing with it, but without picking and hurting yourself.

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