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sdcali , 15 Apr 2009

Don't know how to stop

Hi I'm new to this and I have dermatillomania....I've been dealing with anxiety, BDD, OCD and eating disorders for most of my life (I'm 29), but the skin picking/scab picking just starting about a year ago...I wish I knew why b/c my other issues were and are getting better. I've been on meds for years and I've been in therapy for the past two and a half years. My therapist knows about my skin picking and we talk about it, but I just can't seem to stop....First it started with my ears, then my legs, now it's my scalp and I"m scared that I'm going to end up with bald spots on my head...that would be my worst nightmare since I"m already insecure about how I look. Every day I say I"m not going to do it or even while I"m picking I tell myself to stop, but it's like I just can't pull my hands away...I've tried wearing gloves (didn't really stick with that) and tried keeping my hands busy but nothign works. I"m just getting so frustrated, I'm embarassed about it b/c most people don't understand why you just can't stop. I've always been a picker since I was little, like picking dead skin or paint when it's pealing, things like that, but never picking at myself to form sores and stuff. Does anyone have any suggestions or ideas? I'm even too embarassed to get my haircut b/c I don't want my hairdresser to see. All the picking of my scalp is now starting to effect the way my hair looks, which then just makes me feel worse about everything.....
1 Answer
April 20, 2009
Hi, im 44 years old and i've been picking and scratching since i was about 7 years old, I know the feeling of telling yourself to stop, but yet i countue to do it. it's like my subconscience won't let me. and the more i say to myself that i'm not going to do that today, i always end up doing it any way. even for my birthday, just as i have every year for my birthday ,i always make the same promise that this is the year i'm gonna quite. but i never do. i can't even keep a promise to myself. I have been in counseling for it, have taken meds for it ( some make it better, but most make it worse. i think i'm ready to try hypnosis. i already know that my condition was brought on by my childhood truama's and that nothing can make that go away. but i find i have such anxiety over it all that it interfers with my relationships with my kids and my new husband. whom i've only been married to for not quit 2 years. i am uncomfortable thinking about having sex. i never take my socks off except to shower and then only when ther is no one home.and i hardly ever take my shirt off. i never know what part of my body may become a target, or for how long. i try to cover them with bandiads and antibiotic ointment, but nothing works. there is always something that triggers it to happen, whether it is an outside stresser or an in self stresser, i don't always know.

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