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SickOfPicking , 07 Feb 2014

I'm in DEEP!

Hi. I just found this site. I am a 42-year-old single mom of four. I've been dealing with depression and anxiety since I was a teenager, at least. With medication I've had that under control most of the time. Although, I've never had any relief from picking with the medications. I have been picking my face since I was in elementary school. I've never known anyone else to pick their breasts like I do. Obviously I knew I wasn't the ONLY one in the 7-8 billion people on the earth to do this but it sure felt like it. I, like most as I've been reading on here, began picking my breasts when I was about 12 years old. I began getting acne when I was only six years old. My father would force me to stand there while he picked at my face often leading me to tears. He continued forcing this obsessive, controlling, downright mean behavior well into my teen years. (Side note - he, on VERY many levels, was a mean, abusive, terrible excuse for a father.) I've always contributed my obsession with picking due what he did to me {specifically in this respect}. After reading so many messages from fellow pickers I'm thinking it may be more than just having grown up with it. Either way, besides over eating, picking is what I'm most ashamed of. It has caused me embarrassment and shame for as long as I can remember. Until just these past few years I would NEVER let my partners see me naked. I'm going to be 43 next week. That is OVER 30 YEARS of suffering from this awful habit. I have scars all over my body and scalp from picking. And tons of scars on my breasts. Like many of you, I always tell myself I'm going to stop. Then I do it again and again. I don't experience hardly any pain to speak of when I'm picking but the satisfaction of squeezing it out or picking it off is unbelievably addicting. Sometimes I'll go a day or two without picking my breasts or anything else to the point of it leaving a red mark or puffy irritated skin, which almost always happens. But I honestly don't think I've ever gone a day without picking at least a couple black heads or otherwise clogged pores on my face. Although, picking my breasts and the scars it's left is the most humiliating. And here's something I've NEVER confessed to anyone, not even in a private journal: I also eat what comes out if it's solid. It doesn't taste like anything. I'll do this with my nose, too. I know this is terribly repulsive and if anyone ever found out or caught me doing it I'd want to just die. It's so unbelievably shameful. I wish I knew why I do this. It's so compulsive. I'm also pretty obsessive about plucking hairs, mostly on my face like eyebrows or nose hairs and now the ever-increasing old lady whiskers on my chin. WOW! I can't believe I said that "out loud"! (((Deep breath))) What now? I've been in therapy off and on over the years and always included my skin picking with my anxiety and depression. But I've never really been helped with the picking issue. But yes, I am very grateful I've found a decent amount of relied from the anxiety and depression. I read on here someone was going to try hypnosis to try to help her stop. I may give that a try. Thanks to all of you out there sharing your stories. I want relief from these afflictions for all of you as much as I want it for myself. Thank you for reading my story/confessional. Hugs.
10 Answers
February 08, 2014
Hey:) you have been picking for 30 years and you have let this obsession take over your life. I feel it gives you a since of controls. Rember you are in controle! You need to take back your life and enjoy what is left of it:) you sound like you have it bad you pick and pull hair. I only have 1 and I'm finding it hard. God knows how you must feel. I don't mean to sound harsh butt the best way to stop is will power! You need to look at your self and realise that you are doing it to yourself. I know some times we tend to not realise we are picking till we come out of a trance and our skin is rewined but you need to stop TODAY!!! Do you really want to keep hiding or cire your picking and make the most of your life. Its not as easy as it sounds and you will relapse and pick or pull but just keep on going and stay strong <3! Good luck xxx
February 09, 2014

In reply to by SickOfPicking

I don't know if your the sane as me but I get mild acne and I some times try to justify my picking when I know I shouldn't be doing it I'm just making excuses ! I hardly pick any more unless I have a brake out and get stressed I've done brilliant by just stopping myself. If I lie to your self saying it needed squeezing or picking then your going to get no where. Plus I told my partner to shout at me when I pick. This works. With him knowing it makes me not want to pick because he will know I have picked and I will feel ashamed xxx
February 09, 2014

In reply to by penny21

Oh, yes. I've had acne since I was 6 years old. I pick at my acne but also every pore that is even the least but clogged. It's good you have someone there to help hold you accountable for not picking.
February 21, 2014
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I would even have to give my mom my eyebrow tweezers because I would pick with them. Here are a few things you can try I also made a youtube video you could watch with clips when I used to skin pick and explaining more of my story with skin picking. My youtube channel name is JulieBeautyOCD A Few Tips... 1.)Getting fake nails (at first they help a lot but over time you can get used to them and learn how to pick with them on) but they are great for the beginning to break the routine because it is a lot harder to pick with fake nails, 2.)Wash your face at night then right after put lotion on...when your skin is smooth the urge to pick is less and when there is lotion on you can't pick because its slippery. 3.) Get a feathered pillow and pull the feathers out when you get the urge to pick. 4.)Get a stress ball or some kind of activity to keep your hands occupied and distract you...I got some coloring books and would color to keep my hands busy haha 5.)Wear some gloves...cant pick with gloves on 6.)This might seem weird, but it has satisfied my urges when i wanted to pick. If you put a little Elmer's Glue on your hands and rub it around and let it dry then pick off the dry glue...I don't know how to explain it but it does help with those really bad urges. You get to pick off the glue and it doest hurt your skin the process. 7.)Breaking up your routine is probably the most important thing. If you pick at a certain time a day or night you should make sure your around people at that time or do a activity or watch tv to distract yourself. I used to put bandaids on my face after picking too. For my chest I recently got a light laser treatment (after 2 rounds) a lot of my scars/pigmentation faded. I wanna do my face next! For my face I try to wash it every night (which is easier said then done) and put lotion and Vaseline on. I have heard that vitamin E does help to fade scars. For makeup I use the Loreal True Match Foundation and Powder and it covers REALLY GOOD! I wish you all the best and if you ever wanna talk or are feeling down I'm here for you...your not alone I know what your going through and I truly believe that you can overcome this! I will be posting more videos soon...make sure to subscribe and stay in touch! xoxo 
February 23, 2014
I'm obsessed with mashing the stuff that comes out of the pimple, clogged pore, black head, etcetera.. on the mirror or in between my nails, like you would a flea!! I get the same feeling when I look at it from every angle whole and squished as I do when I do the actual picking!! I feel so freaking weird.. it then always, eventually turns into a scab.. that is what I chew on!?¿!!?¡¿¡¡ I don't understand it and I'm extremely nervous to talk to a doctor about this and have it on my permanent record... Help!¡!¡!¡!¡ :-)
February 23, 2014
I just found this site today. Only moments ago from writing this. Thank you for sharing your words. This tendency to hurt our selves is hell. I can only hope that by being connected to others who suffer with this addiction we can over come this horrible habit. I pray to God for help. I am currently reaching out to a new doctor I see tomorrow. I know sharing this is going to be a major turning point in my life. I hope to prevent doing further damage to my self'. It is horrible to bear this burden. All who have shared here are in my thoughts and prayers.

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