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I'm a skin picker. I didn't even know this was an actual disorder until watching a "My Strange Addictions" show that spotlighted a girl with almost the same...habit...as me. It made me feel disgusted, and like a freak. Probably because I am. I've picked since I was probably about 7, but it has escalated over the years. I'm 18 now. It started with me having a bit of dandruff on my scalp and I'd scratch it off since it was 'gross' and contaminating my skin. Scratching that lead to red spots, which created small, white scabs. I found these interesting to look at. I'd pick at them, then let them heal a little, then pick again. Sometimes they actually broke open and bled clear liquid, sometimes they actually bled blood. Sometimes a lot of blood. It interested me. When I pulled off the scab it was exciting to see the different textures. I would look at them, squeeze them with my finger nails, decide if it was a big one or not, and throw it away. Eventually I had over 7 on my head...and some were deep. They were always bloody because I picked at them multiple times daily. It became hard to conceal them despite my thick hair, and my mom found out when I was 10. She thought it was a rash and took me to a dermatologist. He took one look, told me to stop scratching them, and said to put neosporin on them. It wasn't that simple. I stopped for a little wile because mom medicated me every night and looked at them. She paid attention if I picked and got onto me. I didnt' care. I let them heal enough that she thought it was over, then started again. I started doing it in the bathroom. If that wasn't enough, I then developed acne and realized that I could squeeze my pores and extract puss, blood, and many times, little white, round balls. I don't know why, but I am obsessed with these. I will sit at the mirror for an hour every night, and...horribly...I use a tooth scraper (like from the dentist) to push my pores and extract these balls. They come right back. My face is now scarred. I also have acne on my back and know I've made it worse because I constantly bother it. My skin gets scaly and I scrape off the dry skin. It hurts and feels good. Often this makes me bleed, and there are spots of blood all over my bra, shirt, and tank tops. Its humiliating but I can't stop. I now have 20 sores on my head and its nearly impossible to conceal them. I try to stop and do well for a week, long enough for a hair cut without suspicion, but then go back to picking more than ever. I constantly touch, squeeze, and scrape my back, chest, face, head, and arms. Its disgusting. I even do it in public, especially when stressed or bored. I don't know what to do. Help me.