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smm23 , 26 May 2014

Living Hell

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME! I can't stop picking my face! I've tried everything but I still can't seem to stop obsessively picking at my skin. I constantly have my fingers on my face tracing over every imperfection and scratching any "bump" I can find. I sit in front of the mirror for hours digging into my skin. I have scarring and scabs all over my face. It is disgusting and impossible to hide. It is RUINING my life. I can't work, I've lost all my friends, I barely leave my house. When I do try to do something as simple as grocery shopping I end up sitting in the parking lot trying to work up the courage to go inside and usually end up driving back home because I'm too embarrassed to be seen. It is affecting my relationship, my parenting, my entire life! I am so ashamed of myself. What is wrong with me? I keep lying to myself and telling myself that I will be better someday ...that I can't feel like this forever but it is only getting worse. I've been doing this for 5 years. A lot of the time I don't even know I'm doing it. I find myself picking all the time. I do not get enjoyment out of tormenting my body like this. I feel anxious and ashamed every time. I feel I have to pick the scabs and dry skin flakes off in order to smooth the appearance so that I can layer and cake on foundation which can only cover so much. No one knows what I am going through and I'm too ashamed to tell anyone. I'm at my breaking point. I don't know what to do anymore. My skin hurts.. I'm emotionally drained ..And I look like SH*T.  -Feeling Helpless :(

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