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GreenBean13 , 10 Jul 2014

Hi. My name is Cat, and Im a picker..

Sooooo I just learned today, that I have "Derma". I have known about my constant state of picking since...forever. However it is news to me, that my condition has a medical name. I am comforted that I am not alone. I have been to many small time psychologist and their first repsonse is to medicate the hell out of me. I hte taking any kind of mind altering medication. If I dont feel like myself, Im more likely to pick! My Mom suffers as well and has found ways of coping. Mine is pretty severe. I peel layers of skin off my fingers, after years and years my fingers look small, I have little to no finger prints because of the calus that has formed. I also pick the bottom of my feet, acne, scabs and a hair folicle issues that I have. Its frustrating and embarrasing because people have the most gruesome ideas of me. "Self Mutilator" is amoung the many things Ive been called. I experienced extreme bullying in my life and that for certain did not help. I am seeking someone to talk to about this and I stumbled upon this website and have read it all! I am excited yet nervous for this path to self control. Wish me luck? How do you guys stop yourselves?
1 Answer
July 10, 2014
I would be happy to talk with you about our experiences. I just found out this was a condition also. I just thought I was so kind of gross freak my whole life. Here is my story that I posted yesterday ......I want to share my story because I am feeling so relieved today to know I am not the ONLY ONE out there. I accidentally stumbled on the term dermatillomania last night and have since been reading up on it. A little about me...I am a 28 year old female living a seemingly normal life. I am happily married with a gorgeous 3 year old and currently trying to have a 2nd child. I have a good job, decent income, nice house, decent looks etc. No one know about this dark secret I live with, not even my husband. Sure he knows I like to squeeze bumps. I squeeze his too. And my face cannot be hidden when I squeeze it. My face is not that bad though. The worst part is my back and upper arms/ shoulders. No one has seen them in year....14 years at least. They are horrible. They have hundreds of scar. I like to squeeze bumps. It is very satisfying to me. Unfortunately I have bad skin. Acne on my back and arms. I squeeze it to death until I have sores. Sometimes I just squeeze pores and hair follicles trying to make something come out. One I start I just keep going. Then when the sores scab up I pull the scabs off. Pulling scabs off gives me great satisfaction, even though it can cause pain afterwards. I am not limited to the face, back, arm, shoulder area though. I will pick or squeeze anywhere, these are just my bad spots. I also pick my chest, breast, neck, scalp, butt, legs, feet ocassionally. I do it all the time, sometimes mindlessly. Often I will get a good picking session before I get in the shower. My husband has never seen me naked. I am overweight so I use that as an excuse. My back and arms are the only area that must be concealed at all times because that is where the scars are horrendous and I always have scabs there. I never wear short sleeves unless it is a mens tshirt. If I wear a swinsuit I wear a cover up and never take it off. I had come to a point in my life where I had accepted this as something I had to deal with forever. I didn't know it was an actual condition. Honestly I don't think I could ever stop. I dont see how. I have been trying to stop my whole life since I start back in my early teen years. I have been searching today for a therapist who specializes in skin picking in my area but the closest one is an hour and a half away. I don't see how talking to someone could help me but I want to try.

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