A Daily Blog For Healing (30 day challenge)


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August 31, 2014

Something that may help... I posted my regimen on the forum if you'd like to review.. If I use the product called Acnomel it helps because it covers the sore like a small little thin flexible cream that kinda hardens. To pick I would need to soak and scrub and I don't want to go through all that so the process plus it gives me time to rethink. Strength to you we can overcome this!
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September 02, 2014

Thank you for the tip TJ! I will definitely try it. In the past I've used Neotrogena's spot treatment! It does the exact same thing and is specific for acne (I'm afraid it doesn't work as well on scabs though, so the Acnomel sounds perfect). Thanks for the positivity, I'm on day two :))
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September 01, 2014

Raeina, You go girl! Way to get started. You have achieved a first goal by making a plan. Kudos for your honesty. That's a hard rule, to count any picking as a session. But it's fair. You have motivated me to take the 30 day challenge too.
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September 02, 2014

Thank you healinghands! It's a big step for me and I am excited to have your support!
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September 02, 2014

Day Two - September 1, 2014 Last time picked: tonight (<1:00) Spots picked: a little whitehead on my chin while sitting on the couch. Ok! So here is day two's synopsis. I was very active today, so that probably helped lessen my urge to pick. I was also with my boyfriend for the majority of the day (we went to the beach for Labor Day), so that helped too. I noticed that sometimes, when he drops me off after a date, I will go immediately upstairs to pick. I will do this sometimes after being out with friends too. Today he came in my house for a little while, after the beach, before leaving. This helped, I didn't end up picking. When he left I did wash all my makeup off and put Calamine on my face for a few hours. This was when I picked at the little spot on my chin while studying on the couch. I just scrubbed my face with St. Ives Green Tea Scrub to wash the Calamine off, then used witch hazel to tone, followed by my Aveda cleanser and moisturizer. One thing I noticed is that I keep my moisturizer in my bedroom (with my makeup on my vanity). I'm going to move this to the bathroom. It's rare that I will pick after I put my moisturizer on, so I think it will be best to have it away from my makeup mirror. I am proud on myself today! Even though I picked at one little spot, I feel more confident since my face is starting to heal. I also didn't pick in a mirror today!!! This is a HUGE step for me. The accountability of documenting my progress here is helping too ☺️. Until tomorrow <3 Rae
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September 02, 2014

Good job Rae! That's a huge improvement from yesterday! I'm thinking of Nemo....Just Keep Swimming!
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September 03, 2014

Day Three - September 2, 2014 Last time picked: around 11:00 AM and 3:00 PM Spots picked: I was peeling the dead skin off of my face while driving (eww) and a pimple on my check that bugged me when I got home. Ok. So today I spent about thirty minutes peeling the dead skin off of my face. Even though I wasn't picking pimples, it was still satisfying my urge to pick. My thoughts surrounded picking all day today. I wanted to pick so badly. I thought about my face and all the scars. I ran my fingers around it to feel the pimples that have newly formed and are just begging me to pop them. I am honestly suprized that I only picked one pimple on my cheek, because I usually would have gotten out of the car, ran straight up to my bedroom, and picked for hours. When I'm driving my idle mind will take over and when I think about picking the anticipation has time to build until I get home. Ugh! I wasted at least two hours though just staring in the mirror, laying down, and obsessing over wanting to pick so badly. I finally got myself to stop and put calamine lotion on my face and follow my normal regimine. The only thing different that I used was a derma roller, which works amazingly well on scars and all those little newly formed pimples. I think it opens my pores up and really let's my face wash/moisturizer sink in! Ah, even that sounds obsessive though. :/ I am going to get up early and go to the gym with my boyfriend tomorrow. I have been on the Paleo diet and am also on my third day of working out :) I think all of this is helping! Hopefully tomorrow I can be more productive and shun away idle time spent thinking about picking. Until then. <3 Rae
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September 04, 2014

Rae- 30 minutes is an improvement from 2 hours! It's perplexing how we can have such a strong urge to pick. Sounds like you're making a total health change with diet and exercise combined...great strides to care for your body as a whole!
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September 04, 2014

Thank you for checking in HealingHands! I have to remember that 30 minutes is progress. Though it isn't perfect, it is progress! And I am really trying to change my whole lifestyle around. I am working on it!
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September 04, 2014

Day Four - September 3, 2014 Last time picked: tonight for thirty minutes. Ugh. Ok. So I was doing really great today with my diet and my face, but my boyfriend and I went out on a date (to a seafood restaurant) and I decided to live a little and break my diet. I know it's good to do things in moderation and so I decided to give myself a break day. Afterwards we got a milkshake. The only problem was that I didn't allow myself to enjoy any of it! I was too obsessed with the fact that I was breaking my diet and that the sugar was not good for my body. This totally stressed me out. When I got home, instead of working on anything productive, I watched youtube videos and then went upstairs to pick at my face. I picked at a few spots, used the derma roller and now I have calamine on. I hope that the spots I picked aren't too noticeable by tomorrow morning. My face was starting to look better, even my boyfriend noticed it and complimented me on how pretty I looked. Ugh. Now I am going to have more scabs and red spots. I'm so frustrated! I can't even make it four days! I have to remind myself that the thirty day challenge is about progress. It's about the journey not the end result. Tomorrow I hope to not pick and to be a little less hard on myself. I am starting to feel like my OCD and perfectionism is truly the problem now. I'm going to re-read my Day One for some inspiration. I'll keep you all updated! Until tomorrow <3
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September 04, 2014

I agree... 30 min is an improvement. Great job! I hope the calamine helps heal fast! I heard of a derma roller but I'm not sure what that is so I'm going to look into that... :-)
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September 05, 2014

Thank you TJ! The derma roller is a needle roller that helps regenerate and repair collagen. It's been a lifesaver for me for my scars! I highly recommend.
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September 05, 2014

Day Five - September 4, 2014 Last time picked: yesterday for thirty minutes. Alright!!! So I am so proud of myself! I spent very little time obsessing over picking today and a lot more time being productive. I'm even starting to recognize my OCD thoughts more and am starting to squash them by diverting my mind unto more productive, positive thoughts. I am proud that I didn't give up on myself today. I spent some time biting my nails and the skin on my fingers, so once I officially stop picking my face I figure I can tweak little things after that. Just being more aware, forgiving, and lenient on myself helped today. Staying active was a big plus and also waking up an hour earlier may have helped too! I had an overall more positive mind frame today. I like that I made it a whole day without picking my face or obsessing too much over it! I am pretty positive that tomorrow will be even better :) It is really helping that my face is healing up too!! Without too many scars and very few pimples, I am having less of a temptation to pick. I have been drinking water like a monster (8 glasses a day at least), exercising every morning, and staying away from sugars, breads, and processed foods. I think a combination of starting a more healthy, balanced lifestyle and really dedicating myself to this challenge has helped out a lot. I am going to try to keep it up! Until tomorrow <3 Rae
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September 06, 2014

Day Six - September 5, 2014 Last time picked: last night, a few blackheads on my nose. So I'm posting for yesterday. I did really well all day and ended up picking a few blackheads on my nose last night. Not too badly though. My face broke out yesterday and I really wanted to pick a spot on my forehead and on my jaw, but I didn't. This morning they look like they are starting to turn into whiteheads. It's going to be hard to not pick them when they are whiteheads, but I'm going to try using a warm compress instead. Still making progress. I need to try to go one whole day without picking again. Hopefully that will be today :)
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September 08, 2014

Day Seven and Day Eight - Sunday August 7, 2014. Spots picked: 7 whiteheads on my face and one cystic acne spot. Part of me thought that my acne would be gone if I didn't pick anymore. I guess I was wrong, because my face cleared and whiteheads poped up not a day later. I ordered some Acnomel. Everyone here is saying that it helps, so I am going to try it. I just wish I hadn't picked, because now my scabs are back. It makes it unbelievably difficult to cover my face with makeup when I have scabs all over it. Not to mention that I worry about them turning into scars. The reason I picked last night and this morning was because my boyfriend and I were going out on a double date with his best friend. I sometimes get social anxiety when I have to meet new people that are important. I really need to stop all of this
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September 08, 2014

Some simple things that have helped my skin (besides getting older??) is using a clean washcloth to dry my face each day and changing the pillow case every couple days. I don't know why I still get acne even though I'm far past puberty but that's the way it is. I also get blackheads on my nose and in random spots all over my face. But I've noticed the whiteheads only come when I'm been touching my face or not keeping it clean regularly. I use Alba Botanicals AcneDote line of cleanser, toner, and moisturizer at night and usually just wash with water in the morning. Then I have a Apricot facial scrub with the sandy granules to use a few times a week in the shower. Occasionally I use the Alba facial mask but not sure if it really does anything. Anyway, everyone's skin is different but if your skin is sensitive like mine I was wondering if the Calamine you are using might help stop itching temporarily but then contribute to any new spots? Our beauty on the outside will shine more when we have peace on the inside- so take it easy and don't give up!
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September 08, 2014

I too thought if I could clear my face just once the acne wouldn't come back. I find the acnomel helps keep my mind off the spots. When I touch a spot of acnomel I think It's covered so I can't pick. Sometimes I do dab a bit more on the spot and consider my picking done. You're doing great realizing what the reasons are. Hang in there!! Your doing so much better!!
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September 09, 2014

Day Nine: September 8, 2014. Spots picked: a whitehead near my hairline and a few pimples in random spaces. My disappointment at my face not clearing up is still lingering. I picked at a few spots tonight and kind of feel like giving up, even though I know this feeling will pass. I am going to go all day tomorrow without picking and the Acnomel should arrive on Wednesday...so two days. No picking. I'm just going to stop myself, even if I see a pimple. It's the only way I will really know if my face will clear up with the Acnomel. I've got to give it a fair shot. I am hiding my mirror for the two days, to make sure I don't pick. I'll be mirror-less until then. Thank you everyone for the support! The accountability is really helping me keep on going, even when in tempted to give up.
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September 09, 2014

You're the one who started the 30 day challenge...it will be so worth it not to give up! Small steps are still progress! You are doing better; it seems like you are picking less often. What is your plan if you see or feel a pimple? Have a plan of action to do instead so you can be ready. Good idea to hide your mirror. I find when I go camping and I don't have the means to put on makeup I don't think about my face so much and it's refreshing. How is your diet going? Have you noticed if any certain foods bring about more spots?
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September 10, 2014

You are right Healinghands, I definitely can't give up. I put on makeup first thing this morning (instead of looking for spots first), so that helped. I haven't picked today. My diet is going well, but I'm not noticing a huge change in my skin :/ it's still oily as ever. I did make some cookies a few days ago and they broke me out a bit. I am wondering if the sugar affected my mood too? Perhaps not the best choice, but I totally was craving sweets!
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September 10, 2014

Day ten: September 9, 2014. Spots picked: none! Woot! Alright it seems that I am back on track today. I woke up and put makeup on my face immediately. Here I am, 6:00 AM. I didn't even wash my face and I just went for it! It's great! I spent very little time obsessing over my face at all today. I couldn't see the spots, so I didn't think about them...out of sight out of mind I guess :) I didn't even have to hide my makeup mirror, which is a plus! I'm going to take off my makeup and try out the same routine tomorrow. Quick wake up, throw some makeup on and head to the gym! Wish me luck. I'm going to try to set a more positive tone for myself too. All this negative self talk isn't getting me anywhere. I'm happy to have the support here and the outlet to express myself without the fear of being judged. That's a wonderful thing!
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September 11, 2014

Woot woot! WAY TO GO RAEINA!!!!! You took a stand and avoided what you know triggers you. I've had to do that before, even if it meant going to bed without washing my face sometimes just so I wouldn't be tempted. It will take time to heal, but you are one day closer to beautiful clear skin! And perfection isn't necessary for beauty. I heard the song "Show me beneath your perfect" or something like that, and it made me think of how we should also love ourselves when we are not perfect. God does!
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September 11, 2014

This is so wise and true. Thank you for being here :)
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September 11, 2014

Day Eleven: Wednesday, September 10th. Spots picked: a cyst on my cheek, some blackheads in my forehead, and some pimples on my chin. Tonight I had a setback. I came home, went straight upstairs after a stressful day, washed my makeup off, and picked. I was on autopilot. I am going to try something different tonight though. Instead of beating down on myself and being upset, I am going to look at tonight as a small setback to help send me forward. I made a mistake. It's ok. The only one who can stop picking is myself. To do this, I need to love and accept myself as I am. To have compassion for myself. To look at this as an opportunity to grow. Tomorrow I am going to focus on being aware and conscious of my actions. I am going to set my mind to doing as much as possible and thinking as little as possible. The only way I was able to stop myself from picking tonight was when I looked down at my hands and took a deep breath. I really focused on them and then, when I had the instinct to draw my hands back to my face I did, but slowly. I wasn't on autopilot anymore. So I stopped, went to the bathroom to wash my face again, and here I am. I choose to love and accept me.
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September 12, 2014

Day Twelve: September 11, 2014. Spots picked: a few pimples on my face. I picked a bit at night. Nothing huge, about five spots but it's still picking. I'm being more forgiving of myself though. My face has almost completely cleared up with the Acnomel. It sure makes not picking much easier! I feel more confident :)
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September 15, 2014

Good job forgiving yourself. That's huge. I'm glad the Acnomel is helping you! Looking forward to another update...we are about halfway through the 30 day challenge!
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September 15, 2014

Day thirteen and day fourteen: September 13 and 14th. Spots picked: forehead, cheeks and chin. The Acnomel is really dry out out my skin, which is both a good and a bad thing. I think I am going to do a calamine mask tomorrow to help with the healing process. I'm once again very tired of all of this. I am feeling a bit hopeless, like I'll never be able to stop picking. I know this isn't true. I just have to try harder to stop. I just have to try harder to be better. I am worn out, tired. I feel like this is draining all of my energy from me. I'm ready to regain myself. I'm ready to find myself. I'm ready to figure out what I am capable of, who I really am. The strength that is inside of me that wants to keep fighting and not give up. The polarities of my will are fighting against one another and tonight I truly feel like a war is waging in my mind. This post has turned so abstract. I just want my power back. I want to stop.
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September 16, 2014

There is always hope, it is never too late. We have setbacks, but then we get up again. Here's a song by Toby Mac: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MX5OqyBYKh4 and another by Superchick: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0PSEYo1lXs Yes, we do have to try, but I also believe there is more going on than willpower. We need support, maybe counseling, maybe medications? At least you are here making an effort now instead of waiting another 10 years! Lets help each other get through this. We have to be realistic about this...something that we have been doing for so long is not going to stop overnight, and probably neither in 30 days. But if we can pick a little less and a little less each year or month or day, eventually the habit will wear off. It's unfortunate that we "pick on ourselves" on the inside as much as we pick on the outside...practice being kind to yourself on the inside and perhaps that will help you to be kind to yourself on the outside. I need that reminder too! I have to remind myself often that if God forgives me in an instant, who am I to not forgive myself?
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September 15, 2014

Day fifteen. Spots picked, chin, forehead, and cheeks. I have to be honest. I almost gave up there for a second. I'm still here and still forgiving myself, but it hasn't been easy. I can't post anymore tonight, depressed and upset at myself. Tomorrow I'll check in. I'm sorry :(
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September 16, 2014

You can do this Raeina! It will be worth all of this hard work one day! I had a bad night today spending hours in front of my mirror, but i cant forget tomorrow is a new day and its right around the corner!
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September 17, 2014

Day sixteen and seventeen. Spots picked: none on day sixteen, but a one hour session on day seventeen. I picked and picked and picked tonight. I was doing so well and was looking airwaves to posting a great post too, about how well I did yesterday. I got really stressed out though today because of school and couldn't help myself. I say in front of the mirror and picked at anything I could get ahold of. It's hard because it's like a reward based issue. It feels good to pick! The stress goes away, my mind runs free and I am able to forget about the world for a while. However, the torture that I give myself after I pick is horrible. I'm tired of it all. So so tired. I'm going to try doing sitting sessions in front of my mirror for 20 minutes a day. No picking, just sitting. It's worth a try!! Every step I take to try to better myself is a step in the right direction. I'll let you know how it goes!
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September 19, 2014

Day eighteen and nineteen: spots picked - a few on my chin the past few days. I have been getting better at not touching the rest of my face, but my chin has been annoying me. I have four cystic pimples crowded on my chin and I just keep picking at them at night. I've gotten really good at night picking during the day, but at night I haven't broken the habit. These next two nights my boyfriend is staying over, so I probably won't pick then. I am getting better bit by bit. Trying to stay present and be positive :) until next time.
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September 20, 2014

Day twenty, September 20. Spots picked: a few on my chin. I'm still picking at my chin. The Acnomel isn't helping anymore and has really dried out my face. I'm probably going to stop using it altogether. I bought a swimsuit and am going to start swimming at the gym. I think that the chlorine will help my face too. I had a great day today with friends! My boyfriend is coming over in a minute, so I gotta jet. Honestly, the thing that has helped me the most so far has been working out. However, I haven't worked out in a few days so I need to get back into it. Good luck everyone! This disease is so hard, but my face is finally starting to clear up! I have very few spots on the rest of my face, so that's a plus!
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September 22, 2014

Day 21: September 21st. Ok, so I picked at spots on my forehead and chin tonight. A lot of them. I put the Acnomel on, but I'm really afraid that my skin isn't going to heal up this time. I picked really badly because I am stressed about school. I am trying really hard to stop, but I can't seem to keep my mind frame right. I am always trying to fix or avoid something. This is all in my head and I know it, so I've got to stop. Going to go to sleep and work on not stressing out tonight. Really, I am my own worst enemy.
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September 22, 2014

Don't give up! Don't give up! Don't give up! You are doing a great job! Don't punish yourself or stress yourself out about not achieving your goal in the first attempt. Two steps forward and one step back is still a step forward. 30 days is a very big goal.. If you achieve one or two days without picking, you are already progressing.. A lot! Keep on doing it. It's worth it. But try not to let this challenge become another source of stress to you.. you know what stress does to us an these mean spots. I will go now and try not to pick my face tonight and then together we had a picking-free day. Me thanks to you and your blog and you because this is also your success. You keep me motivated. Stay strong.
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October 14, 2014

Raeina, how are you getting on? Do you want to start a new challenge with me? I have tried to start challenges in the past and in February did a full 4 weeks but then lapsed. I was wondering if you wanted to try maybe doing 5 days and then build on that to do more. We could share what happens if we pick but have the overall aim not to. ?
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October 21, 2014

Hello Rose. I would love to start a new challenge with you! I am sorry it took me so long to get back to you. 5 days seems like a perfect amount of time. We could start a collaborative forum if you would like?
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November 07, 2014

Hey Raeina, Sorry for the delay, it wouldn't let me post, but I managed to start a new thread.. It's called collaborative challenge. I managed not to pick my face for 15 days but i've still been picking ingrown hairs. So I am starting again today with a new all over challenge. Check the new thread and join in if you want!
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November 07, 2014

Hey Raeina, Sorry for the delay, it wouldn't let me post, but I managed to start a new thread.. It's called collaborative challenge. I managed not to pick my face for 15 days but i've still been picking ingrown hairs. So I am starting again today with a new all over challenge. Check the new thread and join in if you want!