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So, a brief history. I'm a 22 year old female. I've been a skin picker since I was young... around 11, I think. It started off with tweezers, digging into the skin around my knees and such. Got my first staph infection when I was about 13 from doing that. As I've gotten older, I'm now just obsessed with my pores, and I like to use my fingers. I have torn up my chest and knees over the years, and I have fairly significant scarring.
Anyway, so my question is related to my boyfriend. We've been friends for years, but only started dating about 8 months ago, which is when he became privy to how serious my picking problem is. He seemed very accepting of my problem at first, before he had ever seen fresh results, but now when he notices I have fresh sores he gets pretty upset. Not ever angry at me, but just sad and worried, I think. He tries to control his reaction, but the look on his face when he sees it is really hard for me to deal with. He basically says that he doesn't understand why I can't stop and tells me to just not do it. It makes me feel guiltier and it gives me anxiety about him leaving me or hating me, which actually makes me picking worse in the long run, I think. So my question is this: is there any way I can explain my problem to him in a way that a non-picker will understand? every time I try it makes me sound crazier to him.