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Nahannah , 17 Nov 2015

Derma must die

I just started the treatment program on this site, but I think it will help me with accountability if I share my woes with the sometimes-kind people of the internet. So. I really, really want to pick my skin at the moment. There's a bunch of scabs from the longer-than-usual PMS picking of the last few days that are just begging to be scratched off. I pick at my face, neck, chest, arms, legs, back, cuticles, fingers and toes... Pretty much every part of my body, but it's most on my face, knees, and upper arms. I think the trigger for the arms is keratosis pilaris, ingrown hairs all over my knees, and blackheads and whiteheads on my face. Great, now I'm thinking about all those imperfections I want to fix...
Anyway, I'm sick and tired of ducking my head in public and awkwardly trying to cover up bleeding skin when I pick during class. And I want pretty skin because apparently I'm a vapid teenage girl. My face is pretty sore at the moment because of swelling or infection or whatever. It's more discomfort than pain, but it is uncomfortable and distracting because my fingers keep wandering to the affected site and oh look! a scab I can pick...
I'm just not gonna look in the mirror tonight. I'm not even gonna pluck my eyebrows. I'm not gonna turn on the bathroom light when I go to brush my teeth cuz I know if I see my face that'll be it...

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