I am a bit gutted, I wrote out my whole story but it got lost in the last sentence :(
Wanted to give back a bit after feeling supported by this site for some years.
Maybe tomorrow I will start it again but I have just found out purely by chance, after a high period of anxiety and destructive levels of CSP, that a large glass of wine and epilating my legs helps.
This seems to take my hands and mind of the need to tear, pinch, scratch, squeeze the rest of my body up and therefore reduces harm. It also satisfies that need to go into a trance and the slight sense of satisfaction I get when stuff has been pulled out of my skin - but it is socially acceptable!