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mamma , 31 May 2009

Today is my 8th day without picking!!!

Today is my with full day withouit picking and i have been reading and writing on here everyday for the past week. It is a great support group : ) I started picking when I was a little girl. I can't remember exactly what age but I remember being six or seven and being obsessed with picking at my scabs I had from just falling down or playing. I remeber sticking sharp things inside a wound I somehow got on my thumb. I beliieve I use to stick the long refilable pencil lead stick in my wound. I thankfullly did not get much acne when I was a teenager but when I did see one start it was a major pick fest. I tried to squeeze out everything I coule and more. When I started to abuse coke in my early 20's the picking became progressivly worst. I would spend hours in the bathroom sqeezing my skin, trying to make something pop out. My arms became my main area of picking. I would miss class at college because I would go in the bathroom before class and not get out. My arms would be covered with scabs and I would still look for a spot to try and "pop". I was able to stop using cocain but the picking continued. It was not as bad as when I was using but I could not go more than a day without picking at least a little. Plus it seem that just one was never enough. Once I picked one spot I had to keep picking until I found a spot that would " pop" and then once I did find a good one that popped I was not enough, I wanted another and another and another! I have been really trying to understand this disease of Dermatillomania latley. I want to be able to wear a bathing suit without a t shirt over it. I am getting married in two weeks and I want to show off my beautiful shoulder with my wedding dress. Today is my 8th day without picking. I have been writing and reading on this forum everyday. I have been sharing about it with other people. I pray to my Higher Power to help me, I ask my HP to take away the obsession and compulsion to pick. So far it is working! : )

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