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"Stop Picking, Start Living"
So let me start by saying I discovered this site a little while back, maybe around a couple months ago. I really loved it and found it extremely helpful from the moment I came across it. Suffice to say, there aren't that many accurate, informative sources out there when it comes to dermatillomania. What really stood out to me was the four little words at the top left of the screen: "Stop Picking, Start Living"... Because that's what I've been focused on trying to do for, oh, I don't know, THREE YEARS now. I know that may not sound like a lot to some people (cause I've even read things before from fellow dermatillomania sufferer's saying they've been struggling with it for 20 years or longer), but I'm only 18 years old. I feel as though I've already wasted and am continuing to waste some of the most vital years of my life. Think about it... 15, 16, 17, 18... These are the years you are supposed to be living your life to the absolute fullest. But I've spent those years pulling out of high school early, loosing any and all contact with every single one of my friends, avoiding going out anywhere or seeing anyone--even my family, and basically hiding from the world. Although, those things were all my choices that I would even go as far as to say I was glad to make at the time and weren't directly caused by dermatillomania so much as they were by anxiety and just going through a tough period of life in general. Still, it's gotten to the point that there's no longer any deniability whatsoever that this is a problem in my life. I never would have expected when I first started picking in ninth grade that it could escalate to this level. Back then, picking was just something I would do after school every now and then to take the edge off. Now, it's something I literally cannot stop doing, something I cannot control my urges to do, and it's something that is holding me back from so much as leaving my house (at least, not without spending FOREVER putting on a shit-load of makeup). I'm not gonna lie though and say dermatillomania is my only problem. I wish it was. I also struggle with anxiety on a daily basis, but I'm working on that too. I also wish I could say I wrote this post for some meaningful, great reason... But if I'm being honest here, I really, really just needed to vent about this a little (or a lot) because I'm so tired and frustrated from dealing with this all on my own. And continuing that honesty, I'm really not looking for helpful tips or advice here on what I should do to fix things (for instance, please do not tell me to go see someone). Like I said, this is just me venting and wanting to talk to someone about what I'm going through. The most helpful thing for me is seeing, hearing, or reading about people expressing having similar problems.
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