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Just joined this site, though Iv'e been following the forums for YEARS...I've been a skin picker, poker and popper for over 10 years...my face, chest and bikini area have been my biggest problem areas...it's been an embarrassment that I have hidden since I started doing it...I've had to act like a bitchy prude to my boyfriend (and past ones as well) just to avoid sexual contact because of my skin picking issues...(especially when my bikini area has been picked and looks like I have an std even though that's not the case) I have been in a relationship now for about 3 years and we live together, which is fine and dandy...however he's either a highly sexual person or just highly sexually attracted to me...because of my low self esteem from my skin picking issues... I'm led to believe he's just a highly sexual person...every time he makes a move on me or wants to have sex I push him away because I've picked my chest, face and even my genital area to scabs, wounds and scars...and I don't feel sexy or sexually attractive with the way I look or what I've done ... And this has been causing problems in our relationship....I don't think he knows what I do or have done... I've tried my best to cover and hide the damage with make up , to remain intimate in low light , under sheets or blankets and in darkness if possible...since make up does not always conceal the damage Ive done...I'm so ashamed and depressed with what I do to myself...sometimes I cringe looking in the mirror at myself hating the fact that I have to face to world with my face looking the way it does, especially when make up doesn't successfully cover up my secret of despair and self loathing...what I was wondering, is how you have stopped yourself from picking and what worked best for you in your skin healing process ? I've tried tea tree oil and that didn't help as well as I had hoped, I've even tried tea tree oil soap... I've tried a witch hazel natural soap bar which I believe has helped with my healing process in the past. Lately Ive been doing the brags organic apple cider vinager on my picked skin and then putting organic coconut oil on it after... Not a dramatic change after a few days however...especially when I put foundation on the areas I've picked (even before I go to bed so that I don't look terrible and diseased when I wake up to my man) it's hard to do a healing regimen when I dont want him to see how Aweful I look without the make up ...it's so frusterating...can anyone give me some advice on how to clear up my skin without having to look like a monster to my boyfriend and the world ?