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Living.dead.girl , 22 Sep 2016

Dug myself a hole

Ugh, just when my skin was starting to heal, I ended up getting another painful bump on my chin... Cystic pimple? Boil? I dunno what you would call it, a bug fat deep rooted zit is what it was non the less... So I left it alone, did my ACV and witch hazel remedy.... But this thing would not subside... It was red and swollen and just begging to be squeezed.... So what did I eventually do? I stuck it with a needle and squeezed the hell outta it from every direction... And whatever was in there to put it there in the first place, was not coming out , nor would it come to a head... It was a deep sucker... Again I did my remedy routine and tried leaving it alone... But nope... I had to release that pressure and get the gunk out.... Well I dug and dug and squeezed and tweezed and now I ended up with another gaping crater in my face from doing so.... I'm so frusterated! Trying to cover it with make up ends up being a disaster ... But I can't not cover it up or atleast try.... It looks worse without trying to conceal it, and the hole , make up or not, is completely obvious... How am I going to go out into public and face anyone (especially my boyfriend) with this crater on my face?! :( I just want to curl up and cry

4 Answers
October 05, 2016

Oh my i hear you. Just getting to the finally clear stage and dig dig dig. It truly sucks. I would use calamine it pain relieves too. Who would have thought there was so many of us. Last time i opened up to family and therefore didnt have to hide as much but then i have to go to work and its hot. Light long sleeves for me. Bummer dude but lets try and push through

January 24, 2017

This forum truely is a sanctuary for me, I am so glad that I can come here and talk about it and talk and reply to others about my own struggles and remedies... I always find myself back here every time I relapse and have a pick fit.... It helps me cope with it ... I wish it was easy to quit this habit and be cured of this condition and just NOT pick at my skin..... But every single time when I think I'm doing good and kept myself pick, scab and wound free... I always end up going back to the same self destructive routine....

February 20, 2017

Heyyy Living dead girl, it's Snowfall. I had to change my user name because I forgot my password lol. I'm doing a lot better now. No longer suicidal...
I was hospitalized for the last month for OCD(excoriation)
/depression/anxiety and had seen a dermatologist as well.
I am back at home now..still having the compulsions from time to time. I'm taking cbt and talking to a psychiatrist..I have learnt some pretty helpful behaviour therapy(I will post in forum shortly)
However I wanted to tell you that I get these hard bumps on my face to, I had asked my dermatologist about it thinking that it was cystic acne...and she had told me that it is not cystic acne..or even acne at all. It's actually caused from your lymph nodes and is a result of your body trying to fight off infection. When she told me this it it calmed the obsessiveness thoughts, the compulsions to touch it or itch at it were of course still there, but I remembered that there was actually nothing to extract underneath that big guy..and was just a healthy sign that my body is trying to heal itself. This calmed both the obsessive thoughts and the compulsions. Or at least made it easier to get along with it and accept that it was there. Message me back! Looking forward to hearing from you, it was so nice to return to this site after quite some time and reading your reply to "blood mask" as well as "living dead girl" xo. Hope all is well over there

June 17, 2018

Hey, glad things are looking up for you snowfall. I was doing well for awhile, but stress and worries have brought me back to that dark place... Face is looking gnarly again and being at work I could feel the stares and could almost hear the comments being made between was embarrassing and made me feel even more self conscious about it, even though I tried to cover it up with make up, it just felt and looked as if it made it even more apparent....I ended up calling into work today just as I got promoted at my job, and I feel even worse about the whole situation than I did yesterday....

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