Brand new to this site. Please, please someone.....help me stop picking my face!

I have never, ever joined any kind of online forum before but I am desperate for help!
I'm a 50+ grandmother who has been picking at some part of my body on and off for as long as I can remember. I am so very scared of the new, open wounds and old scars on my cheek. I have been destroying my cheek probably for about the last two years. I have always cared a lot about my appearance and I am a master with the makeup/concealer!
I finally got up the nerve to discuss it with my GP and he seemed really quite alarmed and arranged for a 'priority referral' to a dermatologist. Needless to say, my gp's response (I honestly don't know what I expected him to say!) totally freaked me out and I did not go to my dermatologist appt......that was 4 months ago. My picking has escalated since then and I'm just disgusted with myself! My husband is so concerned but this has been going on for so long that he is afraid to ask me about it because then we argue. I am on a fast downward spiral right into the sewer drain! I want to call the dermatologist tomorrow to see if I can make another appt but I'm afraid I will chicken out again.
I am deathly afraid of developing skin cancer as this has been going on for such a long time. In the past month, I have noticed a swollen lymph node in my neck under my infected cheek and I also have a small lump on my throat. I'm pretty sure I'm killing myself and I can't stop. I have a wonderful family and new grandbabies and I need to stop doing this to myself! I'm hoping I can find some solid support in this group. Please feel free to ask me for more info/background to fill in the blanks.....like so many brave people on this site, I have more issues than a magazine! Thanks for reading my novel. :)