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Kamcnail , 20 Jan 2017

My struggle


This is fairly uncomfortable to admit on a public forum. I am a skin picker. For hours I can be consumed by my mirror and any bump or discolored area on my body. I have been doing this for close to 8 years. I don't wear tank tops, shorts, bathing suits, anything that shows my chest or back and I choose hairstyles that will hide portions of my face. This consumes my life. I can't go to the pool with my son unless I wear my shorts and t shirt in the pool. This is impacting me being a parent.

I make small goals and meet them. Then one day it just all goes downhill and quickly. I started picking after a family member Attempted inappropriate relations. It just was my escape and I felt like I was in control removing things not meant to be on my body.

I honestly don't know how to go about change. I keep hearing its behavioral. I've seen a therapist,hypnotherapy, PTSD tx to no avail. Part of me feels like I already ruined my skin and even if I stop my skin is horrible. I don't want to say I've given up. Maybe I just haven't met the right person for me to talk to. I'm on a tight time and money budget and it's hard to work on me when I need to pay for my son.

Today was clearly a set back and bad day for me. I would love suggestions for improvement. I'm a single mom. I work three jobs. I am constantly stressed, but I haven't been able to track a specific trigger for my anxiety. I've kept journals and tallied specific feelings prior. Nothing appears consistent.

What products would clear my skin? I'll have 3 days without picking and then a large pimple and it's completely over. I just want some home that there are ways to improve my scarred skin once I do stop picking. I'm desperately searching for some kind of motivation and hope.

Thank you


2 Answers
January 24, 2017

I've been a picker since I was probably around 19 or so? I'm now 35, so for about 16 years now ... I understand your struggle... I've destroyed my skin so bad sometimes that it's hindered the intimacy in my relationships , my self esteem and has caused me to be late for work and not go out into public at all sometimes. Make up for me is a complete must and I NEVER not could I ever leave the house without wearing it! There's even been times to where I've picked at my skin so bad that make up doesn't even help as much as I hoped it would. Stress and depression has been a huge trigger for me, and that's when I end up in that self destructive OCD mode.... And I know what I'm doing to myself is making everything worse , but I keep telling myself that I need to do this to fix it and make it better and I just keep picking and squeezing and poking , I just can't stop .... And without even realizing how much time has passd and I snap outta my obsessive trance , hours will have gone by... And then I finally stop and really look at what I'm doing and have done to myself and then I end up feeling and looking worse ....

January 27, 2017

What has helped me are gentle chemical peels. My first peel cost me 200$ at the dermatologist but soon after that someone recommend me to try a chemical peel which cost 30$ and that I could order and use at home without much hassle. I had done many peels over the years and each tube easily lasts for a year of multiple peels. I was very scared and anxious prior to trying a chemical peel because I was worried that I might burn my face or have some sort of reaction, but thankfully I have never had any problems. And it's necessary to do a spot test behind the ear prior to a full face peel to see if your skin reacts in any unusual way. I have tried various percentages of TCA peels which were very helpful and allowed my scars to become shallow and completely eliminated others. It is a constant process, but for heavier peels you need more downtime to completely peel. I have done medium grade peels that left my skin peeling off in dry layers over a few days as if I had a bad sunburn, but the results after are fresh, more even toned skin that feels smooth. It's also important to wear SPF all the time if trying out chemical peels. I don't know if anyone on this forum has tried chemical peels, but they have helped me to increase my self esteem by fading scar hyperpigmentation and allowing deepened concave scars to become shallow over time. It just takes multiple peels to see good results and you have to be patient. Just saying this from my personal experience. You should look into chemical peels and maybe even schedule your first peel at the dermatologist to try it out safely before trying to do peels at home. Chemical peels allow me to take care of myself, which can halt my skin picking when I notice the positive results.

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