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Luckybug22 , 01 Apr 2017

Please give me advice

I'm deeply depressed and ashamed about what I've done to my skin. I think I need to break up with my boyfriend who I've been seeing for 4 months because of it. I'm not able to be the enthusiastic, self-confident, sexy girlfriend he deserves and I'm not able to take part in important activities with him like going to the beach or pool. I feel like I'm dragging him through the mud because of my self-hate. I want to be the best partner I can be. I want to overcome this self mutilation before having a relationship. It's too uncomfortable for me and I don't think its fair to my boyfriend. How do I explain to him that I'm not ready for a relationship without sounding pathetic and without talking about the picking?

3 Answers
April 04, 2017

Hi, girl. Try to take a deep breath and give yourself some time to think things over. Your boyfriend really cares about you and wants to see you happy. If you guys are in a good relationship, don't let your skin issues tear you guys the part. You will be letting the disorder win and will feel miserable knowing that you allowed it to take over your relationship and your life. I shared with my husband some of my skin issues. I didn't get into details, but I did tell him a little bit about what I was dealing with. Then when I would have a few days of good skin and no picking, I would share with him and celebrate my small victories. He would see me happy, and it would help me keep fighting. Start with telling your bf a little bit about your struggles and see if he's willing to be supportive. If he's a jerk about it and gets angry or annoyed at you, then you will know that he cannot handle the relationship. Nobody is perfect, and in a relationship it is all about accepting each other for who they are and helping your partner be better. You never know, maybe your boyfriend has some weird secrets about him too that he will share with you and it will bring you guys closer together.

April 05, 2017

Thanks. I ended up telling him what was going on to an extent. Just said that I have acne issues and I have a hard time not touching my skin. He was nice about it. I don't think he understands the severity of my skin picking but it still feels good to have it in the open now.

April 05, 2017

That's a good first step! Keep in mind that our disorder is very difficult to explain and to understand. I tried explaining anxiety to my husband (that I often get), and after many details he still doesn't get it but I know he tries. At least he believes me and doesn't think I'm making it up. Keep communication with your bf open.

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