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Squeezed scab when I knew I shouldn't...
I picked at my face after going months without picking to this extent. I squeezed and a clogged pore yesterday (which wasn't even red to begin with). The area immediately swelled up and turned red. I wasn't sure I got the 'core' out so I gave it another squeeze in the evening and got the remainder out. I woke up this morning to a huge scab, which I would have been ok with except it appeared white in the middle. I wasn't sure it was just skin or pus so I managed to leave it alone all day until about an hour ago. I squeezed and nothing but clear fluid came out ( so I guess it was just skin). All the while, I managed to keep the scab intact with just a little hole where the fluid came from. Now I feel so low. Like, next level low. I feel like I delayed the healing process, will end up with a worse off mark from it and can't understand why I'm just incapable of listening to my gut and leaving it alone. Has this happened to anyone? Did it interfere much with the healing if the scab remained intact? And how do I snap out of this mental rut?
This happens all the time. The pleasurable feeling of getting something out of a pore or pimple is too tempting for us. We act on the impulse in order to get our instant gratification. I've recently picked a few small places all over my face. I simply apply hydrocolloid bandaids over them in order to not look at the damage (looking at the wounds triggers me further). Hydrocolloid bandaids will heal the problem area quickly. Just leave them on as long as you can. Any sort of picking interferes with healing, but since you didnt take off the whole scab its ok. I picked a whole scab off the other day and the hydrocolloid bandaid healed it up pretty well in one day (to the point where its not necessary to keep wearing the bandaid and there is no more weeping from the wound). I have been trying to train myself to accept my acne yet the temptation to pick is overwhelming. I want to see myself with pimples and accept that it is ok....but so far its been a tough battle. I will leave a pimple alone for a few days and then attack it when it becomes bigger. I need to just accept myself with any sort of pimple. Why the hell do we even feel such a strong need to get rid of it? So I have to train my mind to just be OK with acne. And to go out with bumps and pimples (its easier to use makeup to cover a pimple instead of an open wound). You ask how do we snap out of this mental rut. That is the big dilemma with this condition. I think everyone here is trying to snap out of it. If we could do that so easily we probably would not be on this forum. :( I am not sure how to snap out of it....been trying to figure this out for 15 years. My current strategy is to learn to be comfortable having acne. Having bumps and whiteheads on my face without the need to pop them. So its a lot of self talk and easing into that acceptance. I havent had too much progress as I have only recently began to think this way. I figure that submitting to the problem (acne, clogged pores) might be the best thing for us. Instead of fighting our skin we need to submit to all of its flaws. Sounds easy but sure is difficult to do! But there is a theory out there where once we stop fighting something, our pain ( in the form of tension ) goes away. So its all about acceptance. Learn to accept your flaws and constantly try to check yourself every time you are tempted to pick. Its important to be diligent with this strategy because if you slip up on one pimple then the mind sort of goes haywire and desires to pick more. This is what happened to me recently. There were two medium sized whiteheads on my chin and they looked so tempting that I popped both....well that lead to me finding more fault with my skin. When you have open wounds on the face then it increases the desire to pick further. I wish I just left those whiteheads alone. So now again im trying to build myself up to resist the next urge. I want to see myself with acne and want to find out how my skin handles the whole process on its own. Maybe if we treat this process as an experiment then its easier to carry it out? I feel like I have to do a lot of cognitive work on my thought process in order to "go around" the impulse to pick. I have to convince my own mind that its best to abstain from doing further damage.