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Not much to write. Nothing seems to be cutting it right now. I haven't completely lost it and gone into one of those zombie-like trancrs,but I have been picking a little more here and there. I've been on a vacation to see family and haven't been able to stick to my routine as well. Sometimes it seems impossible to be a good guest or social and still do what you need to do to fight the csp. For the past week sobriety has been number one. I've spent a lot of time by myself and structured my day around working on fighting this. But now i'm in a situation where I can't. I Any advice anyone on how to juggle/ deal with these fears of blowing it completely? I just feel shaken up and unsure I can maintain staying sober. I feel like I'm slipping little by little yet I suddenly have this block keeping me from pulling it together. I'm trying to take it one day/ one second at a time. But what do u do when u can't control yourself in this very moment?