My treatment so far - 2 weeks

I tried a spot of the 20% TCA peel I shared a link of prior. This is a very strong peel. Completely different from the one we have been using now. This peel feels like 25%. It frosted on my temples almost immediately. I would say in 10 seconds. I never seen my skin frost so fast, especially at the sides of the face where the skin is thick. I am actually a bit intimidated to use it and not sure how I should apply the formula. Maybe use it sparingly or apply quickly with a fan brush to portions of the face before washing it off. This peel should not be rubbed or patted in with a cotton ball. A fan brush application is the best strategy. And I dont think its meant to be used for more than a minute. I do miss the Perfect Image 20% TCA peel because it was safe and gradual. This product on the other hand is strong. I am sure it will give great results but at this point I am somewhat intimidated to use it. I think the 15% from the same company might be safer to try.
https://www.amazon.com/Peel-Enhanced-Salicylic-Acid-INTERNATIONAL/dp/B0… Might be better to start off with that...but still could be much stronger than what we are accustomed to at this point. Could be a good 30 second -1 minute peel.

...Scary! I will keep for now the 15% and move up with more layers. I do not want to feel out of control! I thought my skin could not get worse and after a bad laser session the texture and some scars got deeper/worse looking... better to make it safe :(

Yeah I am a bit skeptical about that brand now that I am looking over the ingredient list and reading the 15% reviews. Some people are stating that it is too strong even at 15%. I think it might be due to a reaction of the skin not tolerating certain ingredients in the product. It would be interesting to try another brand, possibly from a different website. The spot I applied the acid to felt like it was slightly burning even when I washed it off...it was also a bit raised and red. Now its been pink/red and turning scaly brown and about to peel off. Its reacting similar to another peel I have tried before which would always burn me and leave dark red/brown patches before peeling off. (It does not leave any permanent damage.) I am upset that Perfect Image has cancelled producing their 20% TCA peel. I formed a great routine by using both the 15 and 20 percentages for three years...and now I have to find something new to take its place. I contacted Perfect Image to ask about the 20% product...but I am confident that they will respond about the product being discontinued as I cannot find it anywhere. There is a certain company which I hear about a lot from youtube users who document their peeling process...I will have to look into it more. It seems to be extremely popular and is sold from the company's main website. At this time I completely forgot the name of it.

Hi Serene! Just checking out how you’re doing? Hope all ok...! It has been a while.
After some peels, I moved now to vivace (microneedling). It is very good, I am on my 4th month (I do one every 30 days or so), performed at a Clinic.
Also, some new products that are simply great for acne: biologique recherche p50, msm antimicrobial cream...
Take a look :)

Hey, how have you been? I have been wondering how you were doing since you are I think the only person on this forum who tried my TCA recommendation. :) Are you currently doing microneedling with a roller or is it a pen device which punches into the skin with many small needles? I hear that the pen technique is better for the skin since the needles enter directly from above and do not pull on the skin as the needles on a roller do.
How does your skin look now? Has the scarring on the cheeks diminished? What type of improvement do you see from the vivace and microneedling? Is there textural improvement?

I have been doing better lately. I did have a rough winter with an eczema outbreak due to pet allergies...and the skin picking was somewhat up and down. Now I'm better due to the seasonal change and also regular vitamin D and multivitamin supplements which I take daily. I think my picking is intensified by low vitamin D in the body. I took blood work and my vitamin D level was very low....as usual every winter. Now I'm out getting sun as often as I can, therefore picking has decreased significantly. I am also trying to cognitively alter my perceptions of myself. I am now sharing a more compassionate dialogue within myself. I realized that the skin picking might actually be stemming from body dysmorphia. People who pick tend focus wholeheartedly on their imperfections instead of taking their full self into perspective. So I'm telling myself that I am more than my imperfections. And even if others notice any flaws in my skin....it does not define me. I am now less anxious about seeing people look at my facial birthmark or my small scars. I am instead intrigued by their interest and study their reactions and assessments of me without internalizing any of their behavior. Where before I would attribute certain things to how others reacted in my presence, I now see every interaction as a learning tool for my cognitive improvement. Do you notice that the treatments you have undergone have helped to raise your self esteem? Do you feel more confident being out and socializing? Have you noticed that the treatments helped your overall perception of your image and outlook on life?

My third reply to you..I also am feeling in general that this compulsion is slowly fading away. It feels as if it is losing it's control over me. The process is extremely gradual and I am very hopeful because I have beat many other severe OCD rituals in the past... including a nail biting habit of 25 years. I know that the most positive sign is of the addictive behavior waxing and waning with time. What occurs is that you will have more periods of "down time" in between the picking phases. During these down times you will experience a more optimistic mood and an overall positive self image. It might be accompanied by a general feeling of calmness. This is your brain in the process of rewiring. Do expect some setbacks to picking due to certain triggers...but that's because neuroplasticity takes time. Your brain needs time to form new synapses between neurons...which helps alter your perceptions and your behavior. I have experienced this process within myself (multiple times) because I have had various types of OCD since the age of 8 and nail biting since age 5. The nail biting habit was particularly difficult to beat. The "purging" process for quitting nail biting took me about 2-3 years to complete. It was so gradual that I didn't even believe that I was getting better. I kept putting it off as a temporary phase, until I finally saw my nails fully grown and the cuticles spotless. I sort of had to have a moment of re-evaluation because I realized the urge to bite simply wasn't there anymore. Yet the way I achieved that result was through meticulous self care and regime. Sometimes I would get fed up and rebel against this regime, setting myself back and relapsing to biting nails/cuticles. But overtime the self care regime worked to stop all urges. The trick is in not giving up... just like any other addiction you need to constantly work on yourself, even if it feels repetitive. It's the only way to re-train your brain into behaving. Im wondering if you might also be going through this particular stage at the moment. You are practicing such excellent self care and it seems to be altering your views & perceptions. You might be able to beat this habit for good in the near future. You know, I have also had so much help from this site. I find myself thinking of all the struggling souls and feel a connection....not as alone as I felt before. I think of what I have read and the advice that individuals have shared. It all seems to help me, partly subconsciously/consciously. Maybe it also has something to do with the ability to brush the shame away...the shame which accompanies this disorder. To openly discuss our struggles without judgment. I'm so glad you wrote and shared what has been helping you during the past six months! Always uplifting to hear good news ...gives me hope.

This is a great post. It is exactly how I feel... it was a long ride, and the more I focused on new things/activities and the more I took good care of my skin (both things simultaneously), the less I felt the need to pick and the better my skin became - for both the skincare products and less destructing picking (I managed somehow to invert the cycle). The routine was really important as personally I need a smooth skin that will not make my brain crazy to pick it... and providing little time for countless hours in the bathroom, I gave it enough time to start healing.
Before, I would not engage in anything since my mood and hopes were so low that I did not feel like going out. My days were long and all I thought about was how bad my skin looked... so the beginning is the hardest, I forced myself to be out, to think and try new habits/hobbies that would fulfill my mind and make myself feel worthy again.
All the peelings and procedures also make you think of it as an “investment” (time and money) not worth ruining. TCA and microneedling (vivace) are not so expensive, and can be alternate every 15 days. This was also crucial as, like I said, it really helps clearing the skin and gives you a push towards that peace of mind.
Now I look at my skin and the thought is “it looks so blemish free, I will NOT ruin it” as opposed to “it looks so awful, I might as well just pick it and relieve this urge”.
I feel more confident, people tell me my skin look better. It was very slow and gradual, I still don’t feel 100% cured but it is ok.
It took me these many months to post again on this website. I also learned so much from it, that I wanted to share my experience, hoping it can help people - it is possible to slowly train yourself to be different. It is not easy, but it can and will work if you are consistent and determined.
I did as said create new mecanisms (competing responses) that are not healthy either (picking my toenails, chest and back). But these areas don’t provide the same level of pleasure my face did anyway (not sure why...), so I just did/do it when trying to take the focus away from my face. So now my chest looks a bit ugly (some scars and pigmentation, but nothing too serious)... I will take my time to help it heal as well... it seems anyway less complicated.
I believe that creating a meticulous routine is key... for people with ocd, even better :). We love “steps”. I forbade myself as said to use any bathrooms with strong lighting and keep a safe distance - always - from the mirror.
When a big painful zit comes to the surface... there is still a 50% chance I won’t be able to ignore it. But... they are now occasional.
Within a month of my routine I was already noticing the difference - that toner p50 really accelerated the process (I am now using it on my back and chest and they are both better as well).
Another good point you mentioned is our perception. I guess checking out people’s “digitally enhanced” pictures on social media can make us think that good skin has no pores, no blemishes, no wrinkles... and feel insecure. I started to watch some people whose skin looked so great more closely... and noticed this was an illusion. We tend to check on our skin on such a detailed level that we miss the whole point... and anyway we’re not our skin! Skin is just skin. Difficult to see things like this when my skin looked really really bad. But now that it looks better (not flawless, but better), I am starting not to care so much and not to focus too much on its flaws. With make-up, when I need it, I can I create the illusion of even better skin... I use the porefessional balm from Benefit to make my pores look small (it really works), use some nice foundation to even out the tone... and really, everything is just perception. I focus instead on exercising, being fit, and my new/old hobbies and activities that I started to do on a regular basis (as to create a new healthy routine), with a full time schedule OUTSIDE my apartment, hence no time to check on my skin. But religiously, I clean it... (the toner is also an exfoliator), never skipping one single day... with all those products I mentioned and also, avoiding foundation/heavy make-up on a daily basis.
You were already a step ahead, you’re younger, and have already your sucess story with the nail biting, so your skin - if not yet - is next on your list :).
I am on a good phase, have had many (millions...) setbacks on the way, but everytime I picked, I forgave myself, and started back again, and again. It is really a learning process and an addiction, and by the time you realize it is so destructive, so much harm has been done, and the guilt is hard to cope with. But this community made me feel normal, and all these notes and feedback - yours specially - made me connect and keep it up. My husband and family played an important part, no more jokes and judging are allowed anymore. Everyone finally gets it - me in the first place.
My sister opened up and told me she actually had the exact problem for years (so genetic...) - so close, so far... I thought she did not have it!! She also said she managed to beat it only after her first daughter was born, as she had a “new focus” and very little time for herself. Sometimes all we need are very big “distractions” to point you in the right direction.
Anyway... happy to hear from you!
Happy you think this post helped.

My brother has also began to pick... so yes I think it is genetic. I told him to not indulge this habit because it can get bad. It is very important to have a new focus to distract yourself. I think my allergy/eczema phase taught me that things can always get worse...so picking small pores is a silly concept. I have also picked at my chest for a time, but now decided to stop because I do like to wear low cut dresses and the last thing I need is more scarring on my body. Makeup is indeed useful. I live in makeup when I'm outside my house. I use lots of different products, too many to count. I do prefer foundation with SPF, particularly when I layer it over an SPF moisturizer. What I noticed in my case is that the only time I can do peels is in spring/summer/early fall. In the winter my skin becomes too dry ever since I moved to a colder state. Living in California allowed me to do peels year round. Right now I'm just focusing on extreme sun protection if I am out. Random, but have you tried filler for under the eyes and wrinkles? I'm wondering how that works and if it makes a big difference in the appearance.

I don’t have wrinkles yet, since I have done botox for the past 10 years on my forehead and under eye areas... it helped (...that, at least). I have tried fillers for the first time this past year, but a little here and there to give back some volume to my face. I am almost 40, after all... I had read about fillers in acne scars, so took the opportunity to use it in other points. Nowadays they don’t use it so much in wrinkles, but as “anchor points” (high cheeks, under the chin, lips... sometimes the sides of the forehead).
Those points serve so hold up the skin, such as a “tent”, and those minor wrinkles and sagging skin (around the lips for example) soften up.
It helps indeed (for lost volume it is key), but should not to be abused - it has to be done very naturally in my opinion. People must say “you look younger, you look better” (and not figure out why), but not think “you did something weird to your face”. So... doctors must be chosen carefully when the time comes... but you’re still too young for this I guess :)

Volume loss can be evident underneath the eyes as we age. So some of the wrinkles which occur under the eyes are a result of the gradual fat loss under that area. Since skin is not supported by as much fat, it slightly droops and creases. I'm wondering if fillers can function to hold up the skin and fill in wrinkles under the eyes if that is the case.

https://www.rejuvent.com/under-eye-fillers-rejuvenation/

If you scroll down that link they have three simple sketches of how fat loss occurs on the face. Interesting how it affects the eyes.