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Barragan8791 , 15 Sep 2017

Being a teen

I'm only 16 and I've been picking my scalp for four years now. It started out when I was in the seventh grade and my cousin had lice, and my mom checked to see if I did, and I didn't. After that incident I had a fear of getting lice and would get an itchy sensation on my scalp, so I would scratch it. After a couple months of doing it bloody sores and scabs were all over my head and I would pick them whenever I was in class doing a test or worrying about something in general. It became a habit to feel around my head to find a scab pick it and eventually I started to eat them. The worst thing is I'm not very discreet at all I get the urge and even though I don't want people to know I have to do it. Sometimes I don't even know I'm doing it and won't realize until my finger is all bloody. It used to hurt everyday but I have become numb to the pain. Now all I think about is when I could scratch deeper how big the next scab will be. The bigger the scab and the more it is in one piece the happier it makes me. It almost relaxes me, but it's started to get in the way of my life. I never really went to the salon bc I just keep my hair long and have only cut it twice in the past four years and they never asked, but the one thing that recently happened to me was while I was at a friends house. We were watching a movie and she started to run her hands through my head and right when she touched the top of my head and started to put her fingers through my hair I said "stop! I don't like people touching my head!" And I freaked her out she was wondering why I got so upset about it and why it was such a big deal and I felt bad. She wasn't trying to do anything wrong. So I decided to tell her even though I never told anyone I told her because she is my best friend and I trusted her. Her reaction was amazingly normal she said "it's ok I used to bite my lip until it bled, I don't do it anymore but I understand" and I never thought anyone could and I never had a name or knew what I was doing I just knew that it had something to do with me being compulsive because I also have ADHD and my stress and anxiety. I also never tried to look it up, I never did because I was scared of nothing coming up. I'm so happy I have a place though where I can speak and read others experiences.

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