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JeannieK , 14 Jun 2009

Flunked

was going to go to bed early, but stayed up late and was reading more and more upsettting articles and by 12:45 a.m. (three hours after I had intended to go to bed early) had wreaked havoc on my face even as I was aware several times of what I was doing but felt NO will to stop it. Had I chosen to turn off the computer and just had a schedule, rather than this spontaneous time waste, I wouldn't be facing the sores when I wash my face and the bumps on my face under the powder...and the sense of loss after having survived pick free last night.
3 Answers
almosthealed
June 14, 2009
sorry, that's the worst feeling. But at least you know this trigger. You know that reading upsetting articles and staying up too late can lead you to pick, and now you can focus on making an alternative habit or routine. I usually read something inspirational, or something about Buddhism or yoga before I go to bed. it makes me calmer, and puts a happy thought in my mind. I also find a lot of comfort in it, a good feeling before going to sleep. I try to think about how I want to feel--that's kind of abstract ... but sometimes I say "What would it feel like to be worried about nothing? What would it feel like to think I am just fine as i am?" things like that. I imagine how it feels, and so it becomes true for those few minutes. My mind wanders of course, but I just keep going back to it. That time before bed, in the bathroom is still my most high risk time--the time I am most likely to get sucked into the mirror. I kind of have to make sure I am in the right mind set before I start winding down for the night and brushing my teeth, etc. Not anxious, have to let go of daily crap Im worried about ... keep trying, I know you are going to get better.
JeannieK
June 15, 2009

In reply to by almosthealed

Oh my gosh, this has been such an immense almost joy. I generally am such a loner and will give but not ask, and yet this place has been wonderful...mostly because we're all forward focused towards progress, not just sitting and bellyaching...I mean SOME bellyaching, grin, but just clearly nobody is here to give up and wallow, I love that. THANK YOU!!
cherrycolalola
June 15, 2009
I have soo been there! It's usually late at night when the urge strikes. When I'm extra tired and often when I'm on the computer. And I understand the sense off loss when you've been doing well. one thing I try to do is say to myself "ok all I can do right now is start over". No matter how much worse my face looks it's not gonna stop me from building myself back up again. it's so often two steps forward one step back. But u are still making progress, wether your skin indicates it or not.

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