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Hello, I'm new here. Been picking at my skin since toddlerhood but I always thought I could just stop on my own. Now I'm almost 21 and still picking as basically every square inch of my skin (INCLUDING the inside of my mouth and my gums) everyday without fail, so clearing my plan hasn't worked.
I struggle with a lot of compulsive behavoir, mostly distressing of which is binge eating disorder.
Sometimes, particularly when I'm resisting the urge to binge or do something else compulsive, I end up going into a trance and just picking at one specific part of my body, like my face or legs, for hours?
Like I just sit there and pick and I have no idea how much time has passed or how much damage i did and then I snap out of it and am just horrified at what I did? I'm semiaware that I'm picking but have not control over how much, where, or when to stop? Like I feel relief after, but still feel the shame and disgust of how much damage I did?
Does any else sort of dissociate and totally lose control? I live in a dorm and I've been terrified for years about my roommates walking in on me during these time. Any ideas on how to break the trance? or prevent it entirely? Because once it starts, it will not stop for anything. I'm rambling, but I feel like I'm going to spend the rest of my life bouncing from one compulsion to the next.