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KP picking - permanent damage? :(
I feel so ashamed to be typing this out and posting it publicly. I'm afraid I'm going to learn that my scars will never heal. I am so incredibly self conscious because of what I've done to my arms (and other parts of my body when I get the chance or can't control myself).
I have always had KP on my upper arms, and I have always been a picker, but the two never came in contact until I started taking medication for ADHD. Interestingly, I didn't start picking at my arms until a few years into taking the meds. Now I can't seem to stop. It's gotten so bad and red and scarred that I religiously apply Dermablend body makeup thickly on my arms every night after I shower at the end of the day. I don't even like to let my sister (who lives with me) see my arms before I've applied the makeup.
The makeup gets on everything--my sheets, my comforter, furniture, cabinet, even my mattress, which I discovered once when stripping my bed to wash the sheets. It's a little darker just on the side I sleep on. When I sit on our new couch I put down a blanket so I don't end up building up makeup visibly on the upholstery.
I have spent hundreds of dollars on creams, lotions, makeup, pills--anything I can find that has helped other people I've read about online.
If I could get myself to stop picking, will the scars go away? Will the redness fade? What can I do about the redness?
If I did something or used something that resulted in true, visible improvement, I'm sure that glimmer of hope would help me exponentially in resisting the urge to continue destroying my skin.
Any help would be so wholeheartedly appreciated by me. I feel ugly and ashamed of my body. I'm afraid to date or be intimate because of this secret under my clothes and makeup. I avoid wearing short sleeves or tank tops or bathing suits.
Please, please help.
Hey! you're not alone. Just know that scars always fade, and there are a ton of ointments and oils that do help, I've been looking for something for stretch marks (which is essentially "stretch" scars, which you can fade!) Having KP for my entire life on my arms, I never picked at it until recently, it's satisfying to pick off the little bumps. I am on the search for something to help lessen the appearance, my KP is naturally so so red. Nothing to be ashamed of, but I totally get not wanting anyone to see, I feel the same way about my hands (nail and skin biting). We're here for each other!
The redness will go away if you let your body heal. It might take a little longer for the redness to fade on the arms, unlike the facial skin for example...but it will fade. The scars will be permanent. Depending on how deeply you picked...some might be indented and others might be white. Initially the scar tissue can be a bright white color after the redness goes away. The bright white appearance usually fades out over a year or two. It will still be whiter than the surrounding skin, but less noticable over time. It really depends on how deeply you pick. Sometimes body scars can also be slightly raised (hypertrophic scarring).
I have been picking at my face all my life. The only thing that has worked to fade brown spots that are left behind is hydroquinone 4% cream. Not sure how bad your scars are. If they look like brown spots you can fade them.