Hello all
I know there is a thread on this subject on here already but I can’t find it. I’d like to know if anyone else does this to the extent that I do. I tend to pick my tongue by getting it between my bottom teeth and nail and tearing little pieces off and making it bleed .. I won’t just do this once, I’ll repeat this in the same area for quite a while, sometimes my fingers are covered in blood due to how much I do it. Started doing this as a child I have been doing this for as long as I can remember, I’m now 47 and still do it regularly. .. One time in my teens I did it so bad that the whole left side of my tongue was red raw and bleeding for absolute ages! ... I sometimes also suck the underneath of my tongue between my teeth and bite right through it, once again not just one but repeatedly .. The wound can be quite bad (15-20mm long laceration type looking wound and I’m sure I could see the dark red/purple muscle structure where I have bitten so deep! I have not done this for a while as it’s extremley painful but the urge is ALWAYS there!! This might sound warped but I think I have a fascination with blood as I’ll suck on the wound created and lick the back of my hand to watch it flow, Bloody wounds etc do not bother me in the slightest. ... Do I have some kind of mental disorder? I did have quite a traumatic childhood and still have some slight issues going on with that like anxiety and possibly some mild PTSD ... I have had some councilling and CBT and it has helped very much.
On another topic but most likely related I also pull the inner and outer sides of my big toes nails out by using a sharpened tool to cut down to the nail matrix and the literally pulling the nail pieces out with a pair of pliers (As if I’m doing an ingrown toenail removal) I have also been doing this since I was a child but only really been using the tool for the last couple of years, these can also bleed a lot and have got infected sometimes .. They can become EXTREMLEY painful to the point of agony, keeping me awake and so on ... I now have to do it regularly as I have caused an ingrown toenail scenario on both sides of each big toe and if I don’t repeat the process they start to get very sore where the nail is growing up into the skin due to the repetitive removal of the pieces .. Once I have done it though I clean the thoroughly with pure TCP 2-3 times a day which stops them getting infected. I tend to like to squeeze on them too to see how much of the pain I can take and seem to enjoy this in some warped way .... Do I have some kind of self harm disorder?
RevvedxUp November 18, 2018
RevvedxUp November 18, 2018