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I'm nineteen years old and this bad habit started in the middle of highschool, it's been three years now and sometimes I pick to the point where I bleed. It's not pretty and I'm sick of using make up to cover it up. The reason why I pick might have to do with making myself look ugly so guys will find me unattractive. I am very shy and hate when I catch guys looking at me. It makes my skin crawl and rather not have any attention to my beauty at all. Before I picked my skin, my skin was one of my best features. Everyone would say it was "glowy and smooth" that didn't need anything to cover it up. By destroying my skin, I justified that no guy will ever like me and this is what my "psychology" wanted. On the other hand, of course, I want a boyfriend but simultaneously feel I don't deserve one because my skin is ugly, making me pick more. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Still, guys looking at me makes me extremely creeped out. Typing this out, it makes me seem extremely weird and in need of intensive therapy, but I'm far from it in life. Nobody knows this is how I think, not even my mom :| I don't know where to begin. I'm only nineteen and really wouldn't like to be talking to some shrink about my sexual life lol. But this problem is getting worse and worse and worse. Don't wanna be stuck to this problem for three more years or even life.