Hi, I'm Nectarine. I've been dealing with dermatillomania since I was about 12, and now in my 20s I'd really like to find help. Only recently did I think that maybe it was a compulsive disorder, but I have always picked at my face, for almost 10 years, usually in the bathroom in front of the mirror. I am not sure about triggers yet, but sometimes it feels like just a random urge, not necessarily brought on by intense boredom or stress. I usually don't even realize what I am doing until I am 15 minutes into it, and by then I convince myself that I have already messed up so there is no point in stopping.
I have tried so long to stop myself, but I feel I don't have the willpower alone. I am certain I would not even have blemishes or acne if I could just stop. At this point it is just such a long-formed habit that I am actually causing my own acne from such tiny imperfections that they are borderline imaginary. I don't really have terrible scarring, but there is definitely some visible damage from the trauma I have caused myself. I hope by coming here that I can learn some ways to control my compulsion.
Thanks ahead of time, I look forward to meeting you.