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Thumbstress , 22 Nov 2020

Saving old skin?

I tell myself pretty much every day I’m going to stop picking my thumbs but still haven’t. It’s been about 10 years (since about 14 yo) and I always ask myself how I got here. I was able to stop for some months last year after keeping up acrylic nails. My thumbs had totally healed and looked pretty much completely normal again ( if I can even remember what they looked like) , but once I stopped getting them, eventually I got back to it. I said it wouldn’t get back to that point but here I am. I really thought that part of my life was over and that it would be as simple as stopping. I do remember having the urge to pick when I had the nails on. Sometimes I’d try but when it wasn’t working or as satisfying I gave up and left it alone. Does anyone ever save the skin they picked? I sometimes am satisfied by seeing the remnants of an “episode” or feeling them as I gather or brush them off my clothes/the table etc. I’ve thought off and on “what if I kept them in a bag?” Not sure if that would satisfy me or scare me into stopping to see a growing collection of dead skin. I did put a little in a bag one time, but haven’t since—no way I’m going to carry around something to dump skin in. Or maybe I will, maybe the agony of people seeing me do it will make me stop. Please let me know if you’ve done, thought of this or have any suggestions. I don’t want to ruin my nails with acrylics again!

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