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.Gingersnap. , 13 Oct 2021

A poem about skin picking

Fingertips scan mountains

Growing under my skin
Creating sores and scars and caverns
Bloody nails and guilt I harbor

Attempts to smooth down imperfections
Backfires as they grow
More obvious than ever
And I can't stop my hands' endeavor

Pick until these bumps are swollen
As I frantically hope they flatten
The perfecting and gripping sensation
Creating dents and lacerations
Magnifying inflammation

Scabs and bumps and lesions stand
Awaiting vengeance from my hand
Focused and I know it's wrong
But my fingers carry on with minds of their own

My will is weak
Ceasing this has failed
Now I cover my chest, my back, my arms
Ashamed of proof of all my harm
Ashamed of bumps and scabs and scars

And I lose hope
That they can fade away
When I tear open old wounds
In front of mirrors, in tears all day

Staring at my reflection
I hate myself and regret
These leopard spots, obsessive thoughts
Compulsions to level an uneven mess

By shame I keep them hidden
So no one will judge all they see
In the desperate strain to keep them hidden
I am hiding all of me

5 Answers
.Gingersnap.
October 13, 2021

Because of the way the posts are set up, this turned into a giant paragraph, so sorry it doesn't look quite the way it's supposed to

Just some guy
October 14, 2021

Don't you dare apologise Gingersnap. "The Good Lord gave you a body that can withstand almost anything. It is your mind you have to convince." Vincent Lombardi. I can relate with your poem - a good one by the way. It is hard, I know, to leave oneself alone. Been over seven months for me. Find the strength. Take the pain. I wish you the best. :-)

.Gingersnap.
October 15, 2021

Thank you for your kind words. You give me hope that I can overcome this. God bless :)

Just some guy
October 18, 2021

People don't have the right to judge. Only I will judge myself at the end. Not sure if we share the same condition Gingersnap. It was anger that made me stop. Anger at the doctors and anger with myself. I now know that picking at myself was not the cure. Ask yourself - is this helping? "It is the lack of faith that make people afraid of meeting challenges and I believe in myself" Muhammad Ali. They can take everything away Gingersnap, but don't let them take away your hope. :-)

sensitiveskin
April 04, 2022

Loved the poem, it described me and I'm sure many others accurately! 

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