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embujeva , 04 Aug 2009

wow...this habit of mine has a name?

I had no idea that this has a name. I only came across this website after googling CSP after seeing a woman who suffered from it on the AE television show "Obsessed". I just read through and I can't believe it. I am a chronic skin picker. I just like to feel smooth skin. Ironic, because picking always leads to rough scabs.. which I pick until it's smooth again. And I repeat this until there's a scar. When I was younger I was a chronic cheek biter. I would chew the inside of my lip and cheek so bad that it would always be puffed up, white, and in pain. I do have an axiety disorder (I hate silence unless I am alone. If I am with another person I need white makes for a challenging university life...!). My younger sister suffers from Bipolar and also (I now believe) has CSP. I think hers is more severe than mine. She has exema & psoriasis also. Her entire body is covered in bright red, shiny scars. Her exema is at the center of her forhead, against her hairline and she picks this all the time. She has a social phobia. I have ALWAYS been a perfectionist. I am sure this lies in how my sister and I were treated by our parents. Our parents are very laid back and don't care. My sister was a high school drop out, and I am a 4.0 GPA university student. My parents still don't recognize my hard work in fear of upsetting my sister (because she dropped out). I always feel that if I was perfect all around they would notice and say so. I know there is no such thing as perfection, but... in my mind.. my perfection is smooth skin? I don't know why I feel the need to pick at scabs. It was really an eye-opener watching that episode. This woman's CBT was to learn to be aware of what she was doing. While I was watching this I started to think, what am I doing... the answer? I was sitting there, watching tv, picking my face. Too...weird and random to me. Can't believe it.
1 Answer
August 08, 2009
I'm a skin picker (and hair puller). I have been a picker since I was six. I pick at every part of my body. Literally, if I can reach it, I pick it. My picking over time has only gotten progressively worse and caused me all the pain in the world. Like many people who have shared here, it's a living nightmare. It's insanity. And it's a double life, because on the "outside" I look like I've got it all together. Recently, I found a 12 step group for skin pickers that has SAVED MY LIFE. I now have HOPE. There is a weekly phone meeting. I'm not facing this devistating illness alone anymore and I no longer have to "figure it out." THERE IS A SOLUTION. Please call in if you need support. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. SKIN PICKERS ANONYMOUS PHONE MEETING - Sundays at 7PM EST. Call in #: 1-270-696-2525 / Access Code: 12128

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