I am one of the dredded skin pickers. It is not my only but perhaps my worst habit. Ive been chained to awful scabs, infection, scarring on my face, neck, shoulders, back, chest, arms and legs since i was a kid.
Today, i have not picked in over 48 hours. Ok, One pick. which i regreted. but still did not make myself bleed or push anything out, just a big scab removal before work today-- which resulted in a worse looking spot. of course.
I do have fairly bad skin naturally although (i am almost 30, i have been doing this particurally obsessively on my face for 15 years atleast) it does Not need to be this bad.
its gross, it hurts my job opprotunity, relationships, and very much myself. it makes my social anxiety sky rocket.. which makes me wanna shut myself alone alone and just rip all my skin up.
personally, I have quit some fairly diffucult and awful things in my life.
I have not had a sip to drink in almost 3 years, and i have quit an awful and obsessive smoking habit. I currently struggle daily with a crazy sugar addiction but have actually quit sugar for over 2 years about 10 years ago..
I know it is possable to really quit something once you are aware of it and want to.
Today i have not picked in over 48 hours firstly because i watched the obsessed show about the face picker. that was the first thing to make me realize i am certinally not alone and that this is definetly a symptom of a larger mental issue.
Today I have not picked in over 48 hours because I am visualizing myself as a non picker. I have created a mental image of my life with out picking. I the last several days i have digested the fact that I Do Not have to Pick my life Away! I can quit! I have mentally invisioned my cheeks and skin as translucent and tender and precious as a peach. certinally not perfect.. but hopefully healed, no infection and open gashes! I want this despirately. I have overcome much in my life but this would be heaven if i could just wake up and not be thinking about it.
I know from drinking and smoking and such- that quitting an important habit causes 'using dreams'. I am expecting for this to take weeks to get out of being on my mind ever 2 minutes (literally), and for it to show itself in my dreams.
So. For now, every 2 minutes when i get the mental itch. I pray. I ask my higher power for help. Im thinking about all the others who so deeply have this habit and issues.. I imagine my skin ripe and soft and whole. A peach i would never want to gouge and literally tear apart to make unwanted.
I know this is all symptoms of my brain and me. I help to control myself with exercise and also work really hard to maintain a mostly whole real food diet, which totally helps mental swings and irrationality.
I am curious if i am able to put this particular symptom behind me what new issue could develop. ....
Today, My skin looks 10X better than it did just 48 hours ago. I have some tiny white heads that are driving me crazy and a couple of scabs that would be huge infected open sores right now. mentally i do want to just dig in to all my skin regardless of flaws.
So, diverting that attention to writing this, reading everyone elses posts and praying for help with this because i Have to Stop.