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abackas , 13 Aug 2009

I'm a woman and I pick my breasts! Does anyone else?

Hi there. I've been a fairly serious skin picker ever since I was about 13. I'm now 42. Also saw the A&E Obsessed show and could totally relate. I pick pretty much anywhere and everywhere on my body but my 2 MAIN areas are my face and MY BOOBS! It's just awful! Do any other women have this problem? It's so sad because it really is a beautiful part of a woman's body and here I obsessively destroy it. Anyway, I just discovered this site and forum. It's great. Hope to chat more.
218 Answers
LunacyGloom
January 29, 2011
I pick at my breasts too and it has affected my life more than any other area I pick at. I started about 1 or 2 years ago. I don't remember why I started picking there in the first place but to me it's become the most addictive. Considering that I am young and girls my age like to show off their boobs by wearing low cut shirts, I often feel left out. I can't wear anything low cut because of my scars. What makes this worse is the fact that I have a petite figure but very large breasts. My friends always pick out somewhat revealing clothes for me or tell me I need to flaunt what I've got and stop dressing so conservatively, but they don't understand that even though I want to, I can't. Picking at that area has also kept me from getting intimate with anyone. I currrently have a boyfriend but I've never let him see or even feel my boobs because I'm terrified he will think I'm disgusting and leave me for someone who is scar free.
Insight
February 23, 2011
I am so glad I found this forum and post. I am 45 and have been skin picking since puberty (probably earlier). I mainly pick the chest and breast area and have been doing this since my late teens. I have recently been doing a lot of self watching: writing down when I pick, my thoughts and feelings (that's when I'm lucky enough to catch them), triggers, picking routine etc... Due to me mainly picking in the bathroom in the evening and getting into a trance state I have removed all mirrors from my flat except the one in the bathroom but I have taken out the bright fluorescent light above the one mirror which created perfect light for finding all blemishes and imperfections large and small. The only lighting is an overhead light that limits my close inspection which lead to picking marathons. I have put an egg timer in the bathroom and as soon as I enter I set it for 10mins sometimes I go straight to the mirror and start to pick or as with picking my breasts I don't always use the mirror; regardless I will try and set the timer as soon as I can tear myself away. When it loudly goes off it snaps me out of the trance like state, if the urges are strong I'll reset but often than not this is enough to jolt me out of the trance, take deep breaths, avoid mentally beating myself up and make the choice to stop (it puts me at the mental cross roads to leave or continue and the choice is hard but it allows space for this choice). This year I have been 18days skin picking free, then I erratically began picking my breast again. The past week I have been relatively 'free' of skin picking except 3 very small sessions 15mins, 5mins and 3mins until last night when I gave in to a 2hr session. This morning my chest although blemished and sore is not as bad as it would of been if I hadn't had the days free of skin picking. Other things I am trying to do is relieve anxiety and stress by practicing meditation and attending hot yoga which is great for getting rid of clogged pores but be aware initially as it will bring out spots as you detox. Hot yoga as well as keeping my anxiety at bay encourages me to drink lots of water which is also great for clearing up the skin. I know false nails can help some people but I cut my nails very short which limits the damage I cause to my breast. I know I will always have a scarred and blemished chests but the human body if given the chance will heal and improve the texture and look of the skin. After 18days of not picking my skin looked and felt loads better. Today is a new day and I am going to start again. Another one of my triggers is coffee because it over stimulates me and interferes with my sleep (I had 2 expressos yesterday) so I am going to give up coffee for the next days. I hope some of this is of help, I know everyone's path to stopping this destructive, depressing habit is different but please have hope and be kind to yourself. For every negative destructive thought you hold of yourself find positive affirmations to counter them, talk to your self as if to a dear friend or family and try and stop negative mental dialogue. Easier said then done to break the vicious cycle but by not being so hard on myself helps me a lot to stay focus and avoid hacking away at my skin. See your beauty, see your value, nurture and grow and share your journey. ;) x ps has anyone got any tips for helping to stop?
waylander
March 20, 2011

In reply to by Insight

I've recently stopped caffeine too. I've had anxiety and depression for years, and it only recently occured to me that caffiene makes me more anxious... I think it helps me being off it. (By the way you can get REALLY good decaf coffee - i've recently discovered a bialetti coffee maker and illy decaf grounds, and i'm utterley converted!) I pick at my chest and boobs too, especially my cleavage, but i've not many permanent scars - most of mine will go in about 6 months or so, IF i let them! For me something that has helped stop picking my chest and back/bum/legs at night is to wear pyjamas. I used to sleep naked, but then in the time before going to sleep i'd have picked loads. now i wear a big t-shits and long leg jim-jams, and i get QUICKLY out of day clothes and into night clothes, so i can't SEE any spots there. If i see them, or feel them, i'll obsessively think about them, so i just try to remove the inspiration.
bb2011
October 10, 2011

In reply to by Insight

Hi I'm 43 - cant remember when I started. I think as an early teen I picked at my face - I remember using a makeup called Veil to conceal the blemishes. I look back at photos of me at 16 and my legs are clear - i'd wear swim suits etc. I don't know what started it - I remember being a very unhappy child - unsettled , bullied. But remember being pretty happy in my late teens and mid twenties. I spent years letting my mum convince me and going along with treatments for skin disorders. I tried everything and visited specialists all over the place. THe guilt and embarrassment from this was immense - I always knew it was self inflicted but not one specialist suggested it was the root cause - they all just told me to stop scratching In my 20s , 30s and 40s I've had bouts of anxiety and stress related illness - made worse I think by the guilt of the skin picking. Sometimes its not too bad. Other times like now I can barely contain myself. I make excuses to go to the bathroom, but I surepticiously pick all day long - hoping that no-one notices but I'm sure they do and if I catch a look from them I feel disgusted. I used to keep it to less obvious areas - those I could cover up - boobs, bikini line, tops of legs, shoulders. buttocks but latterly its been face, lower legs and arms At the moment I can't keep my hands away from my skin - I seek out pimples, raised lumps , in grown or un erupted hair folicles. The release I feel when I pull of a scabbed over wound is immence. As is the disgust in myself once the 'trance' ends. I only found out about 18 months ago that this was a recognised problem and I was not alone. In desperation I had searched the web. I found Dermatillomania - printed it off and gave it to my partner - he was great. The doctor was useless and dismissed it - referring me again to another skin specialist. However the accompanying rise in panic attacks and stres finally put me (again) in the mental health support loop and am finally waiting for phychotherapy but theres a 2 year waiting list. In the interim the doctor sent me on a Mindfulness course and it talked about meditation techniques. I've now bought a book "Mindfulness - a practical guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World" - it comes with a CD that talks you through the meditation - I'm hopeful it will help. I'm also attending a stress management course - again that talks about these breathing and meditation techniques and makes you look at the triggers. I am pretty unsuccesful at the moment in identifying triggers for skin picking - its a constant urge in my head that I try to ignore - but the relief and disappointment when I finally give in is enormous. My only real move forward is that I now how specialists who believe it and a wonderful supporting partner who will let me discuss it on the rare occasions I feel brave enough to do so. Please stay in touch - I think we may be able to support each other x
Ellen
November 13, 2011

In reply to by bb2011

Having to wait 2 years for psychotherapy is ridiculous! I would give up on whatever place told you to wait two years and shop around for a new place. Can you really afford two more years of this?
paigerz924
February 23, 2011
My main areas used to be my chest/breasts, upper back, buttocks, and face. It was very upsetting for me in high school because my breasts have always been my best asset. Finally, about my senior year in high school, I decided that enough was enough--I managed to stop picking for a few weeks, and my buttocks and chest healed extremely well. I also used Mederma, and even the scars went away. Sadly, though, I continued to struggle with my face almost everyday, and I'd have an episode with my upper back every month or so. Now, at 22, I still struggle with my face, and every once in a while I'll mess with a closed pore on my chest/breast or back, but for the most part, those areas stay sore-free. I'm very glad that I found this forum to hear stories of people who suffer just like me. It allows me to feel more open to sharing my story, which comforts me and is helping me to overcome this compulsion. I hope it has done the same for you.
jewel
February 26, 2011
I also just discovered this site :) I too pick my breasts. Especially the area where the nipple meets the skin. It is not my worse picking. I primarily focus on my arms and legs. My breasts for some reason also seem to heal faster then other parts of my body. Maybe because they are covered up more often.
L.Anne
February 27, 2011
wow-It's so great knowing that there are others like me out here... I am 22 years old and I have been picking since I was17. I'm sure it had something to do with my family (my parents were getting a divorce and I rarely had a parent at home). I started picking at my back, when an acne flare gave me that first "opportunity" to pick. from then it led to my buttocks, and then to my breasts. I have tried to quit so many times, that I'm so disheartened at this whole situation... I don't want to go to someone who's just going to drug me up on anti-depressants. that isn't what I need. I am getting married in July and all I truly want is to be scab free for my husband. I want to be able to get my nails done without having to rip them off in order to pick. I'm sure he has noticed that I pick (he commented on my buttocks but I said I just scar easily), but he hasn't really asked me about it or anything. I have to pretend to get angry, or find a way of leaving my bra on and not letting him see my buttocks if/when we are intimate. This hurts so bad... I would love to talk with anyone about this---I have facebook, yahoo, and just plain old email... I would love to have someone to help me out...
musicislove07
May 12, 2011

In reply to by L.Anne

hello, i'm almost 22, my email is carpediem_darlin@yahoo.com, i'm online all the time for work and it comes to my phone too, i'd love to talk to you about this, and i think i could help you. I suffer from this disorder too and it comes and goes based on my anxiety level, right now its so bad that i've got bald spots on my head. anyway, shoot me any email and maybe we can talk. -k
kaysilva
March 05, 2011
wow, its really crazy how for so long i thought i was the only one who picked at my skin. i started skin picking when i was 11 years old and now i am 17. in the beginning though i started picking at my arms and face. eventually as the years passed on it got worse and i began picking at my breasts, legs, and now even my pubic area. im so ashamed i dread going to the doctors for a physical examination or even changing in gym class. i have no idea how to tell my mother that i pick at other areas because she only thinks i do it to my arms. she gets upset with me and yells at me teling me to just stop but i tell her its not that easy. i wish i could definitely talk to someone about this because ive only told one person, my best friend but even he doesnt know the full extent of my skin picking problem. ive read previous comments of women who started at my age and havent stopped and they are now in their 40s. i seriously DONT want to end up at that age and still be picking. i want this to be over and done with ASAP. i just have no idea what steps to take to stop. this has taken over my life, i have few friends, i never want to go out and ive even thought of suicide. i feel so worthless and i need help. any advice?
prettypicker
October 26, 2011

In reply to by kaysilva

i'm seventeen too and have had thoughts like that too. i felt like i was reading a post from myself... would you like to confide over email maybe? i think that would really help me cus my friends are supportive but just can't relate :(
in.my.head
March 18, 2011
I pick at anything that even remotely resembles a bump/pimple. I can't even remember when I started... it's been so long. I'm 20 now. The two most effected areas are my face and my boobs. I pick at my boobs more because I can hide it a lot more easily... but I get so self-conscious in intimate situations with guys. I have big boobs so they are always really eager to get my bra off, but I never want to take it off because I know they will just be disgusted by the scabs and scars. I really need to stop :(
imnottheonlyone
May 08, 2011

In reply to by in.my.head

I'm 21 and I have picked at my breasts for years. I try not to think about it because when I do it really upsets me. I will only be intimate with a guy in the dark although I usually don't let myself get to that stage. I also have large boobs and know that guys will definately want to get my bra off but I am so ashamed of how they look. I wish I had never started and didn't have all this ugly scarring around the areola. I know that if I ever get into a relationship I will have to make up some sort of excuse about the way my breasts look. I am far too embarassed to tell anyone. Most days I think I will be single forever just to avoid confrontation about this issue. I frequently have dreams about breasts; either how ugly mine are and how much I hate them, or I dream I am somebody else with perfect breasts. Then I wake up :/ It's so sad there isn't more support out there for this condition but I am SO happy I found this thread it's the first time I have felt I'm not alone in this. Best of luck to everyone trying to beat this crappy compulsion!!!
db1986
June 20, 2011

In reply to by in.my.head

I am exactly the same way. Mostly picking my boobs, sometimes my face, and i have a very hard time stopping myself once i start. I have several open wounds on my breasts that i cannot get rid of and many ugly scars that will haunt me forever. I have large breasts and I am ver proud of the size and shape of them, but i am totally ashamed of the condition of my skin. My boyfriend and I have been going out for two years, he tries to be understanding, but he wants to see and touch my boobs and i'm so grossed out by them that I shy away. I feel so unsexy when he can see them when we have sex. Lately I have started refusing to take off my bra and it is causing some problems between us. I don't know why i started, but i continue because of stress, anxiety and a true wish to improve the look of my body, as messed up as that seems. I wish i had never started doing this. how do i heal the scabs and get rid of the scars? as well as stop this compulsive behavior?? help!
Carina
August 29, 2011

In reply to by db1986

My problem is exactly the same. Although I've been in a strong, loving relationship with my boyfriend for over two years, I still feel extremely unsexy and nervous whenever I or he takes off my bra because of my scars (and any recently picked parts) on my boobs. I've confronted this problem and have talked about it with him a few times, and each time he reassured me that my skin doesn't show him any reason to stop loving me -- but instead to help me and make me feel better so that I can stop. I just feel horrible that even after I had these conversations with him, I still continue to pick at my boobs anyway... I love him and I wish to be sexy for him when the mood kicks in, but each time we get under the sheets, I always imagine that my scars are being magnified for him to see the ugliness up close, and then I just don't feel as good as when my shirt is still on. I hope he knows that it's not his fault that I don't orgasm as easily as other women probably could because I don't feel good mentally or emotionally thanks to my appearance. But anywho, I'm also looking for the same answer to the same questions. I've been seeking therapy from a counselor (though I haven't brought up my skin picking problem just yet), but I know that mental therapy could help turn around the urge to pick. And as for the scars, I saw a commercial about a cream called Mederma that sort of heals stretch marks and other unwanted scars. I keep forgetting to ask my doctor about it, but maybe you should see if Mederma could be the answerl
brownskin88
June 26, 2011

In reply to by in.my.head

OMG!! im 20 too and have horrible scars all over my boobs, chest, back and arms. I want to show my boyfriend my scars but I am soo ashamed and disgusted. I have tried a bunch of stuff from chemical peels, acne treatments, manuka honey, ughh u name it! When I am alone I'm learning to love myself, but I am terrified by what other people think. I recently bought body makeup called dermablend, which covers well. But when we had sex, the makeup was alll over my backseat! OMG it was soo embarrassing and somehow I managed to clean it without him seeing all the makeup on the seat. I want to tell him, but I am too scared to put myself out there. Have you ever been naked in front of a guy? Did they have a reaction to your spots?
prettypicker
October 26, 2011

In reply to by in.my.head

oh my gosh that's the same with me too! (but I'm only 17) ugh, they're so eager... and they just don't get it, cus in their minds big a boobed girl = perfect. and I don't want them to be digusted and turned off by my less-than-perfect scarred/scabbed breasts :( it's so embarrassing...
zoolou2508
March 18, 2011
I have come to this site once or twice before and was seeking answers or wanting to find other people like me. I have recently talked to my doctor about this and that I do it, the anxiety meds that she put me on really don't always control the urges. I have been picking since I was around 11 is the earliest that I can actively remember doing it on a conscious level. My parents had a playground swing set in the backyard and i had really gashed the back of my leg very deeply with an uncovered screw when I was hanging upside down and flipping off the set. I remember it healing and the scab started to tighten around the skin and I was sitting in the bathroom on the carpet and started to pick. There was just a sense of release that i felt. I grew up in a very emotioally and mentally abusive home with a bi polar mother, undiagonsed because she refuses to seek medical treatment. I am now 30 years old and have been picking since that first time. I always had scars that never healed and I really didn't realize that I was doing damage to my body until I was in my college years. Up until that point it was minor, scratches or cuts that happened on accident that I really just never let fully heal. I started tanning when I was in my early 20s, since I am a redhead I burned and started to peel...then the peeling developed into a sore and a sore a picking spot. I was mainly on my boobs, yes as the woman mentioned in the earlier posts it was because it was easily hidden from others. I am trying to figure out what is the psychological reason as for why it is that I do this. I was raped by my boyfriend during my freshman year in college and that is when I think the cycle of picking my boobs started. I have several scars, three currently active right now that I'm trying to let heal putting on cream at night with band aids and such. I really am trying hard to figure out or work through issues, memories that I have suppressed and haven't been able to ever talk about. I am wondering if anyone else had similar trauma in their past. I also pick my stomach and scalp, but mainly my boobs, all places are easy to cover up. The cuts I get or scraps I get on other places of my body I do let heal naturally....so why those areas?

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