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Sephron , 28 Aug 2009

Finger Picking, and nail clippers

Hello, I'm new here and I have a pretty weird habit (not to compare it to others or anything). I was born without a working pituitary gland, so I didn't have any growth hormone, cortisol, thyroid hormone, or female hormones. I had to, and still have to, take shots and pills of synthetics to keep myself balanced. I noticed when I was around five that I'd bite my toenails. My parents quickly put a stop to it. So I bit my fingernails and ate them (I know, gross). When I was around 10 I noticed that I had notches in my front teeth, like the kind seamstresses used to get when they'd hold pins and needles between their teeth. I realized it was because of the way I'd bite my nails off and then grind them down more. So I began biting, and eating the skin around the edges of my nails. It escalated to biting, and eating, the skin down to the first knuckle from the tip. I never take it off where I get hangnails though, strangely enough, because it hurts. It used to hurt when I was younger, but I barely noticed it. Now It doesn't hurt at all to do, and about 8 years ago I've been using a pair of nail clippers to clip the skin off evenly. (I's bad). After it was all gone I'd wait a few days for it to heal over, then go at it again. One day I began thinking I was just insane, and this was a very light form of cannibalism. I am now 23, undergoing a lot of stress because I'm about to lose my health insurance, and without my medicine I could die. There has been so much stress going on in my life that I don't even allow my fingers the few days it takes to heal. Whenever I sit down and see a pair of nail clippers, I pick them up and begin, looking for anything I can cut off. I have a very strict mother, who I'm forced to live with until I can find a job with decent coverage, and she looks at this with disgust. I have no one else to turn to. Part of the drama is that my only two sources of comfort, my grandmother and my only friend, both moved away. I'd like to get over this so I'll be able to feel okay with taking my change from the cashiers, to be able to go swimming and not have to hide my hands from others, and to be able to open things like boxes and pop cans without wincing. Thank you for any help.
3 Answers
August 30, 2009
Is there any you can move in with your GMA? Get out of the negative environment. Also, there is special funding for those without insurance who have serious medical issues as you do. Go down to your local welfare and human services office and sign up asap. With no current job you will qualify. I understand you completely. had a very shitty childhood and I was a hair puller at age 3 then from there a nail biter/cuticle picker. Am almost 40 with 3 kids 5 and under who tell me "Stop picking mommy". I don't want them influenced by this. Good luck to you. My email is if you want to write. Take care
September 01, 2009
I'm a cuticle picker. But I don't use fingernail clippers - I use my hands to pick off the skin. And I'll tear them down to the first knuckle as well. I bleed frequently and get infection and swelling from it as well. I try my best to keep my nails as short as possible so it's very difficult for me to pick right off the bat. And that helps. I really don't remember when mine started but I know I was in high school. I'm now 28 and still pick to this day. Matter of fact, two fingers are bleeding as I type this. I can't tell you how much I spend in bandaids to cover up my fingers to keep others from seeing them. I know it's a lot of money. There's a product Avon sells that I've been using for about a year now and it helps a great deal. It's their Lavender cuticle pen. It's basically a brush with cuticle oil and you brush it onto your fingers. This helps out a lot. The pen is about four dollar regular price. I usually buy them when they're on sale though. You're not alone. I get embarrassed when I go places and my fingers are all swollen, cracked, dry and scabbed over. I get sick of people asking me "what happend?" like I'm a freak or something. I have PCOS which is a disorder where my body produces a little bit too much testosterone for a female, but I'm also overweight which has a lot to do with it as well but I too have hormone issues. But hang in there, I've not been on this forum for very long but everybody is very supportive and you'll find out very quickly that we're all in the same boat together :) :)
February 11, 2021

I also can’t put the nail clippers down I am constantly cutting into the skin around my fingernails with nail clippers and just continuously cutting and peeling the skin my fingers are in constant pain, how do I stop.

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